Vault 536

Past and Present pt2

Sept 27
A friend of mine said she was making a legend by being in the boys restroom for 5 minutes... I have a better one...

When I was younger. I had to go answer the call of nature, but the sign for the boy's restroom was missing. And I just walked past it and into the girl's restroom. When I got in, I was confused. The bowl where you could pee standing up was missing. And there were girls inside! I only realized my mistake when I left the toilet. It's a funny story. One I have forgotten for a while. Legendary isn't it?

Sept 28
We had an emergency meeting about the College Entrance Test for ATENEO. Apparently the number of students that backed out was such a surprise, that ATENEO decided to give the test in our school! After the meeting, I went home and prepared the application form.

While walking home, I was feeling negative. I was thinking of paying for Miss Fancy's examination fee, since the cost was the main reason her parents didn't allow her to take the test. I always used to buy extravagant gifts for my crushes. Roses, expensive chocolates, stuffed toys... I even wrote poems for them! Even if I did not believe they would ever reciprocate my feelings for them, I still gave them those expensive gifts...

I was stupid, but I wouldn't change those events even if I could. It's a part of my past, my history.

Sept 29
My old best friend surprised me by messaging out of the blue.
I wasn't expecting her to do that...

We used to chat a lot. A lot of messages, both online on messenger, and texts. I used to read on wattpad and chat to her while waiting for time to pass by. It was fun.

Oct 2
"That picture of her was surprisingly beautiful... I hate that..."These were my thoughts, after seeing Miss Fancy's picture as a model. It was a shock to my system... I wish I didn't tap on that stupid link... She is stunningly beautiful...

Honestly, the only other person I believed to be beautiful is Miss Promenade. (I still believe that she is)

Oct 4
I hate that even in my dreams, Miss Fancy still shocks me.

The only part I remember about the most dream I had this morning was that we were on the stage, I was standing, talking to a friend, and then she suddenly called me, I crouched down to where she was... and I froze... then the dream ended...

Oct 12
Know what's frustrating? The fact that Miss Fancy was so freaking beautiful today, and I remembered my failure and stupidity during the friendship ball..

It had sad instead of happy memories... It always makes me feel negative about myself...

I also happened to see both Miss Fancy and Miss Promenade side by side in front of me as I left for home. It felt stupid thinking about it.

Oct 16
I managed to walk home with Miss Fancy, unintentionally...

She went on the route I usually take when walking alone. And I felt negative about it.

(I took the perspective of a girl, who was mad at one of my Characters, Kit Weaver. She hated that he always lives in a virtual world, and in her rage, she told him that his Best Friend, Aurum, and his Princess, Lexi, were just figments of his imagination. That girl had crushed on Kit for years, wishing he would notice, but whenever they talk, Kit would always talk about Aurum and Princess Lexi...)

As I got to my street, I worried that a guy is following her home... it could be just a coincidence. I hope it's a coincidence, for her sake.

I used to walk a family friend home every day. Her name was Jica. I had crush on her for a while, and I enjoyed walking her home (I'm glad I don't like her that way anymore). Eventually I walked with her younger sister, Wyan. I enjoyed walking Wyan home, because I could pretend she was my sister...

I long for a sister, but it won't happen anytime soon... maybe that stillborn child could've been my sister, but even if she was, she's gone...

Oct 18
I dreamt that My cousin 'Sky' was my classmate, and both of us have a chance to go to the US. She took it, I declined. And then I hugged my cousin as she cried because We were going to be separated. I tried to comfort her.

(This dream is weird, I guess it just shows my wish that I could have lived with my cousins, had a sister-like figure to talk to)

I love my cousins... they were my best friends when my parents were tending to my sick 2 year old brother. I'm glad I was able to spend 6 months with them

We danced today~
Dancing has been my hidden passion since my first prom~ but now I'm tired enough that I feel drunk...
One thing I keep blurting out is that my classmates are cute, hot..
They're just amazing...
I'm too tired...

(I got pictures with them after the dance. The routine was difficult, but it was an awesome success. It's just awesome~ I can't explain it)

Oct 19
Played Uno with the girls, house rules as we called it. I didn't like it. CB and 'Leigh' were around me, so I didn't enjoy having to drop a plus 4 card on them.
When CB dropped hers, I kept taking the 4 cards instead of placing down mine, because 'Leigh' already got a plus 8 in the previous game, and she quit because of it.

One of the reasons I dislike 'house rules' now is the fact that plus cards can stack until all are used, and it would be a pain for who it lands on.

(House rules was a rule set I used to play with. I played a lot of card games for the past few years... it's still fun)

Oct 22
*I'm sure I love her... When my mind clears, she pops in my head. Whenever I see her, I get shy, awkward, and unfocused. I love her... I know it for sure.

What I don't know, is that if I'm ready to admit it to her, face to face... what if I make the same mistake I done in the past? What if I mess up again. What if...

(I'm afraid. That's all there is to it.)

Oct 23
I don't care about Miss Fancy as much as I used to, but having eye contact with her still shocks me.

Oct 24
I dreamt that Miss Ch and Miss Ve couldn't talk to me without messing up, and I couldn't chat with either of them without going speechless. It was weird, since Ve could talk to me with  no problems, and Ch rarely chats with me. Maybe it's because I think they like me?

(I usually think some girls like me, but that thought causes me to like them...
It's messed up... I hate it...)

Random thought...
*I love her, but I won't tell her, at least not yet. My emotions are childish, jumping in may ruin our friendship. It's too early...*

Nov 2
When Miss Fancy is nearby, I feel awkward. You'd think I'd enjoy having my crush sit next to me, but I don't like it. I'm trying to forget crushing on her...
Rekindling emotions is not what I wanted. Sometimes, I hate being a romantic...

Nov 3
I can barely talk to the girl I love. I lost the confidence to speak with her...

Nov 5
My thoughts throughout the week "I'm sorry if I've been ignoring I'm just a coward that's too scared to talk to you..."

Random thought...
*I think it's already too late.*