Vault 536

Text Dump (Nov-Dec 2016) pt2

(Didn't bother censoring. Had no need or reason to)

Nov 16
5:10 PM
I did not expect to see Gwyn walking by as the car I was in drove to a nearby shop (to buy water). My eyes were wide open as I thought of her. Before we left, I was trying to shut out my feelings for her, but there she goes, casually walking by my line of sight and wrecking all the progress I made.

I saw her walk by the highway, on the side where all the nearby restaurants are located. (Fawaz, Al Shami, Golden Juice)

Nov 20
9:40 AM
Why am I positive today? I think its the smile Gwyn gave me this morning... It was.. odd

3:55 PM
I feel out of place when I'm in my full circle of friends. But when it's just a conversation with one or two friends, I feel comfortable.

Nov 23
12:00 PM
Oswald, Neil, Rolf. Boys that you know will cheat in a card game. You know what's worse? The boys allow it... I'm the only one pissed off whenever someone sneaks a power card or one with high value into their deck... it's driving me insane. I hate them when they do that.
Rolf should know better. He should have seen how I was when someone bends the rules to their favor and gets away with it. Little things like these always drop my mood... why do I even join these games... I'm better off playing with Saniya, Gwyn, Danielle, and the other girls than with the boys. At least I can count on them to not cheat.

Nov 29
12:05 PM
Cher left her seat. Without Cher, I get more nervous. She's a buffer for my affection for Gwyn. I hope she gets better soon.

12:10 PM
Worrying for Cher helps dissolve my nervousness around Gwyn.

1:45 PM
I think of Cher as a sibling(sort of). I did the same thing for Gege the previous quarter.

Gwyn isn't the extrovert I thought her to be. But I still think she looks confident.

1:50 PM
(Altered. Because, the original is too weird, even for me)
I think she looked amazing today...

2:00 PM
If Cher is a buffer, Angel and Carl are the solid wall.

Nov 30
6:10 AM
She felt a bit guilty about having her picture taken with her crush? I thought she enjoyed it. Another conflicting set of thoughts entered my head when I read it. Why would she feel guilty...

1:50 PM
Being behind her... it has given me even more confusion. Even just looking at her hair... it's a weird feeling. It's driving me insane...
(We were playing UNO at the time)

Dec 1
11:30 AM
Ignoring Oswald at the moment...

12:40 PM
He refuses to continue the game when he says he was already done. He did it twice. He consumed most of David's product (I wanted some too... but it was his lunch. I don't know if it is guilt or kindness, but I gave him funds to buy his own lunch.) And he's a cheater in general. He focuses on his own wants and benefits over others, he barely cares about others.

He left me in such a bad mood, it was stressful

Dec 4
8:30 AM
I'm waay too hyper today. We danced the highschool finale (in the last foundation day) this morning, twice!
(We exercised again because most of the highschoolers didn't dance)

(I felt a bunch of emotions that day. Happiness, because of the cool weather, and the dance. Sadness, because of Gwyn. She was right in front of me. Confusion, same reason. She was right in front of me. I also felt tired after dancing.)

Gwyn is amazing. She's beautiful, she exercises, she's part of the girls basketball team... I don't even exercise. I don't deserve her.

9:00 AM
Not only am I hyper, but also positive. Normally I'd be depressed. I was glad for the change.

9:07 AM
I'm hyper and tired. I need to rest.

1:25 PM
After eating, I got my energy back.

Dec 5
12:15 PM
I fell asleep. Why is it when I'm in a good mood, I get tired enough to sleep?

Dec 6
8:15 AM
I had another weird dream. And even in my dreams, Gwyn has me nervous.

4:42 PM
It was a school day, I was talking to a classmate, then he left, and Gwyn was sitting nearby. Then she moved to the seat next to me, and was thanking me for helping her with something. Them dream me was hiding his face in the abaya of someone... and Gwyn was chill while talking to me, and I couldn't say a sentence without getting nervous.

That's the dream involving her.

8:56 PM
Just watched a video showing how smudge proof lipstick was invented.
Whenever I think of make up, Gwyn pops into my head. I guess it's because I can count on her to be a makeup expert.

Dec 11
2:30 PM
It was an activity in DRRR. We had to connect a body part of ourselves to a certain color. The most memorable one was green hair. So we lied down and to my surprise, I saw Gwen. All I could do was look at her, smile, and say "hi~" (I wonder how I am able to keep my cool around her. I still need to work on shuffling a deck of cards without getting nervous when she's playing too. Otherwise, I'm doing unusually well)

Dec 14
3:15 PM
I hate coincidences. Yes I was waiting for her, but I didn't think I would actually see her while I was leaving. I should just leave next time... but I doubt I will... (I need to stop being a hopeless romantic, but how?)

Dec 17
6:04 PM
He will get her a valentine's day gift this February 14... He knows he said he wouldn't, but this teen is tired of the constant stress he gets from thinking about her... he knows she knows, but because of the way she found out, it didn't have any closure. Maybe if he gave her a gift, and told her the words he had been planning to say if ever he gave her said gift, he'd feel better... maybe his suspicions of mutual feelings would be confirmed or busted, either way, closure would be achieved, maybe he would be able to face her without getting as nervous if they became block mates once again. Maybe he would figure out what his emotions mean. Maybe he would be able to face the next school year with more confidence and determination to enjoy his last year of high school...

(That's over a thousand words now... time to post this... just before exam starts... well then, see you soon~)