Vault 536

Entries for 2016 pt2

(Heads up, real people's names are censored here with code names)

I have no reason to be typing here, yet I still do

July 1
9 pm
My birthday is in twenty days. I feel happy for some reason...

August 16
10:30 pm
Man, reading something that's a relic of the past still sends chills throughout my body...

Sept 16
10:30 am
Three car incidents happened in Riyadh
1 fatal car crash, and maybe no one died? Hopefully...
1 collision that wasn't as fatal, but just as surprising
1 car that fell of a small ramp, it looked ridiculous.

Sept 29
I had an odd dream about Gone... we talked about the possibility of what happened with Fun and her happening to us, and she was sleeping on my shoulder... And we were at school. And I couldn't focus on anything else but the girl who was making me nervous

Sept 30
Someone (who knows about my crush last school year 2015-2016) said her hair smells nice...
Her hair always smells nice
(I don't know what makes me think so)

Oct 1
I had almost forgotten I made an OC close to her name... (the girl from the part above this one) inspired Audrey Cassanova

Oct 12
Pt1
I broke the rule of 2016...
It's too early for me to crush on someone, but I did...

Pt2
Gone's (whispered) statement made me confused... is she hinting that she knows about my crush on her? Does she want me to tell her that I like her?

Oct 17
The moon is almost full tonight... I always enjoy seeing it in the night sky. It's comforting to see it there.

Oct 20
What am I doing... just being around her makes me nervous... Why am I even typing this out beside her?!
I'm thinking of Valentines Day again... I'll give my two new friends (Gone and Sun) something for Valentines... I enjoy their company, and I want to show that...
(Saniya if you see this, please don't tell her... or show her this novel...)

Oct 29
I am an apathetic jerk...
I don't deserve anyone's kindness... nor do I deserve their friendship...
(Long story short, depression struck)

Nov 3

Pt1
Sun confirmed Gone's suspicions, and told her that I have a crush on her. Then I got stressed out due to the catapult, and the failed chess varsity tryouts, and while dancing I hit Fleur, then I blew up, then I couldn't dance without feeling sadness, and I just feel horrible today.

Pt2
(Lost file rewritten, I lost the original content. Had to rewrite this part)

I wish Sun didn't confirm her suspicions. Maybe I wouldn't be so down today. (I'm okay for now Sun, it's just me venting out)
I punched inanimate objects at least 4 times today. I'm too stressed out. I just wanted to be her friend, but I ended up crushing on her.

Pt3
I always assumed that liking someone would prevent me from losing the connection and friendship I have with them. I know I'm wrong, but I never listen to myself and crush on her anyways. I wish I'd be friends with someone without ever crushing on them.

Pt4
I hate being a hopeless romantic. I wish I was more platonic and I wouldn't crush on any of my friends at all. And I know that will never happen.

Nov 4

6:45 pm
I am trying to convince myself that my crush on Gone is just that, a crush. But that is not the point of this part. I will not pursue her. She has someone else she likes, and I'm just her friend. (Sorry about lashing out last Thursday Sun, I wasn't thinking right. Wish I could take it back...) I'll just support her as a friend. That's what I'll do.

6:50 pm
Not many people bother to read this. But at least one of my new friends are still around to read this. I'm heading to a beach tonight... I'm not swimming though, It's not planned
(I fell asleep on the way, I was left at the car)

Nov 6
10:45 AM
Sun, if you read this, don't show Gone. It will probably worsen the scenario. It must be a girl's automatic reaction to a guy who isn't crush has a crush on them. It happened too many times for that to be a coincidence. (It's an experience that happened every time I confessed... why would this time be any different?)

3:05 PM
Tell me... Sun? Is Gone avoiding me? I hope I'm wrong. I want to be her friend. Having feelings returned is unneeded (I know it won't happen...)

3:10 PM
The past few days are pretty boring without access to my laptop. Guess I'll continue using my phone instead

4:05 PM
I just realized how moody I was the past few days... I was depressed at one day, ecstatic the next, then a mix of both the for the next few days... I'm not supposed to be that moody...

(Hey Sun, some of the words here are fueled by depression. Promise me you won't tell anyone)