Bruises and Bitemarks [Hiatus]

I Know What You Are

Alarm came over me when I realised that I had no reason to return to this house anymore. I had already retrieved the only thing that gave me reason to come back. He closed the door on me, and that door will not ever open again to allow me entrance into the house where I have found so many fond memories. So many… I didn’t want to lose this friendship. It was so short lived and it was so beautiful! Why does it have to end, especially like this? I don’t even know where things went wrong. This wasn’t fair to me. I absolutely refuse to let things end this way!

Taking in a deep breath, I took a step forward towards the door and I started to knock again. When no one came to open it I continued to knock at a faster, more frantic pace. “Open the door, Zac!” I cried, clenching onto my hat in one hand. “Please!”

Nothing. 

Nothing but the sound of my own voice and the ruckus that I was making.

I stopped, ready to just turn around and go home like he wanted me to—to give up. But in a last attempt I knocked again, and I impulsively yelled, 

“I know what you are!”

When I was greeted with silence and stillness once more I dropped my hand from the door. “O-open the door,” I cried desperately. For some reason, the thought of turning around and just going home like I had planned to left my mind. As if I had had a small splinter of hope left while I knocked…in the back of my mind, I was hoping that he would come and open the door for me so that I didn’t have to leave. He didn’t come and I’m trying to come to terms with that, but I’m still here. I’m still standing here on his porch. I leaned in and rested my forehead against the hardwood door, like I was in a daze.

Before I knew it, I could feel a warmth come over my cheeks; a warmth that was quickly turned into cold due to the winter wind. I did not move, but I was mentally wondering what was going on with my face. Then I realised it.

I was crying.

This sense of attachment I had towards Zac was far greater than I thought it was, so great that it even surprised me; and my crying for him completely caught me off guard. I stayed perched against the door, my eyes downcast and focused on the floor. I could feel the tears roll down my cheeks and I saw the stray drops that fell from my eyes and onto the ground. This isn’t happening, I rarely ever cried. Yet, I really was. The silence was broken when I heard a soft whimpering…it took me a few moments to finally realise that it was coming from me. 

The tears started to come more swiftly and before long I was blinded by them. I straightened up and dropped my hat to the floor as I tried to wipe them away from my cheeks and out of my eyes, but that only seemed to have made my condition worse. Before long, I was standing there sniffling and crying like a lost little girl who didn’t know her way back home. Since when was I like this? Why did my heart have to hurt so much? It didn’t make any sense, I just can’t…

My thoughts were interrupted by a slow creaking sound, and I saw the door slowly being pulled open. A familiar scent whooshed past me and I forced my mind to grasp the possibility that Zac was standing in front of me again, an idea that seemed so devastatingly untrue that I couldn’t comprehend it as a miracle. But I only had to look up to come into contact with the recognizable pair of beautiful green eyes. They were staring down at me; they were my proof. Though they were all that I could see because my tears had caused my eyesight to blur, it was enough. It was more than enough.

It did not show in my face that the dread that was consuming my heart just seconds before was beginning to rapidly fade, yet I couldn’t stop myself from trembling. He was right there; he was within my grasp, my reach! I wasn’t going to lose him this time; I wasn’t going to lose him again.