to Kiss a Drug Addict

15. Free Falling

Chapter 15: Free-Falling

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"I want to be everything you didn't know you were looking for"

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Peirce's pov:

In truth, I've known the existence of Rose since eighth grade. It was before the incident with her mother. At the time, I was considered popular in school. But Rose was the opposite. Not a single guy had a crush on her, including myself. Because she was too rough. She dressed like a tomboy and liked getting into fights with girls who teased her. I never bothered learning her name and moved on. Until freshman year, when she came back to school with a completely new look. She wore skirts and dresses. She didn't wear boy jeans and took the time to fix her hair instead of hiding it under a cap.

We switched social standings. She became popular and I had a ruined reputation.

I felt repulsed by the way guys flew to her side. They were the same guys who rejected her very presence. They used to always make fun of her behind her back. I started hating the hypocrisy surrounding Rose. I didn't want to seem like one of them or be compared to them. So I drifted away. And they didn't mind. They let me, believing the half-true rumors.

But one day, in French, I saw her. I was busy trying to concentrate on the warm up on the board. Until I felt a pair of eyes on me. I looked up and knew who it was. Rose. She was sitting across from me, stealing glances. Curiosity filled my mind. Why would she be looking at me? Perhaps she was looking at Johnny who was sat behind me. I tried hard not to meet her eyes. Because then they'd think I liked her. I thought about Rose all that week. I felt the intensity that her stare evoked. I almost fell. But I didn't let myself.

That little act fell when she started chasing me around. She started talking to me, rekindling that strange curiosity that had grown inside. I tried very hard to push her away, to not fall in her little trap. Mostly, to prevent myself from being judged by such a pretty girl.

So I knew it was a mistake when I kissed her. I couldn't resist. I took the pills Landon brought me shortly before Rose came. I drifted into a moment of peace and my mind wasn't screwed on right. I let my emotions take over me. She was sitting there, in front of me, with her pretty face and pretty eyes.

When I kissed her, I didn't care that she was the daughter of that woman. I cared about Rose's feelings and my own. The drugs escaped from my mind. It felt better having her this close.

After what seems like a long time, I pull back, staring at her with blank eyes. But inside, my heart was racing just as fast as hers. I could almost hear it. Rose touches her lips, making me want her even more.

I realize that I've become like one of those guys who chase her all over campus. I can't control myself. I can't control what I fall in love with. Or who I start to fall for.

Rose sits beside me, trying to catch her breath. I stare at the cabinets, deciding to withdraw every dollar in my bank account and leave this wretched town.

If Rose knew who I truly was, she would hate me. Completely. And I wouldn't take being hated by her because of what I did. Anyone else, yes, but by her?

I'd rather swallow a whole bottle of pills.

A warm touch lays on the back of my hand. Rose rests her fingers on top of mine. I don't look at her. If I do, she'll know.

Her fingers curly into my hand, making me go crazy.

And we sit in silence for a very long time, staring at the wall.