Damage

Chapter 3

Emily’s smile immediately brightens after I tell them I’ll go to the party and Michael clasps his hands together, leaning against the doorframe.

“Alright, see you then?” he asks, beginning to make his way out.

 “Yeah, sure,” Emily calls over her shoulder, rummaging around her desk for something. “Hey, and don’t be late!” she shouts, as he leaves laughing at the same time.

Looking at the sky, I can see that we only have an hour or so before we have to go. Emily breathes out a sigh of exasperation, turning over the corners of the blanket on her bed.

“What are you looking for?” I ask, smiling out of the side of my mouth. She reminds me of my brother.

“My phone,” she looks back at me, laughing. “Don’t worry, this shit happens to me all the time, every 27 seconds, practically.”

I scan the room quickly before spotting a piece of it, hidden underneath a sweater. I walk over, lifting up the pale green knitted fabric and gently hold the phone in my hand. But before I speak up to let her know that I’ve found it, a new text flashes up on the screen of her phone.

Michael

Hey, is your roommate single? We’re all curious

My eyes widen and I have to hide my expression before turning to Emily. “Found it.”

She sighs in relief and I hand it over to her before promptly being wrapped in a hug. If there’s anything I can tell about Em, it’s that she’s an open book. Unlike me.

“You,” she breathes out, setting her phone down on top of her desk where she won’t lose it again, “are a lifesaver.” I laugh, and sit back down on my bed, not quite sure what to do. I won’t know anyone at this party so I’ll probably have to rely a little on Emily or Michael to introduce me to people.

Emily flits about, moving between her closet and her suitcase, searching for something to wear. When she finally decides, I can see a maroon and black dress hanging over her forearm. 

“What do you think?” she asks, extending the fabric out and draping it across her body so I can see.

“It’s really pretty,” I say, not quite sure how to respond, I’m no expert on the type of dress to wear to a college party. “It looks good on you.” She smiles again and then promptly begins to get dressed.

“What are you wearing?”

 I look down at my jeans and the light blue sweater that’s on me. I was planning on wearing what I have on, but if Emily's going in a dress, maybe I should change into one as well. But immediately after the thought crosses my mind, I realize that I don’t have any. It’s easy to forget things while packing when the only that’s on your mind is leaving and not coming back.

 “I’ll lend you something,” she offers, looking through her closet.  She holds out a white dress for me, a stark contrast between the skin-tight, darker number she has on. But as I look between our bodies, I can see why this would be the only thing that will work.

 I’ve never been the voluptuous type and it’s clear that Emily’s chest is more filled out that mine.  Well, her everything is a little more filled out, it seems. But holding the dress in my hands, I run my fingers over the soft, almost lacy fabric and figure that it’ll be fine.

We’re short on time, so I quickly put it on, letting the white dress fall mid-thigh and sliding on a pair of nude heels that Emily’s letting me borrow for the night. As she looks me over, watching as I stand nervously by the window in someone else’s dress, she smiles and hands over a sweater of mine that she thinks will work well.

“It suits you." 

After going back and forth, I reluctantly allow her to do my makeup, drawing a thin line of eyeliner by my lashes and adding the smallest amount of lipgloss.

“You’ll be breaking hearts tonight,” she tells me, quickly adjusting the white dress and turning off the lights of our dorm room as we make our way down the hallway. I roll my eyes and laugh. 

“Probably not,” I say, holding onto the stairwell as we walk downstairs. “It’s not a good idea for me to be involved with anyone, anyway,” I say quietly, absentmindedly trailing my fingers along the banister. And it's true, I think. There’s too much going on with me, it’d be a recipe for disaster.

“Why?” She reapplies a bit of mascara, checking her reflection in a the glass window of a door. “Do you already have a boyfriend?”

My cheeks flame up and I can recall the text that I unassumingly opened before. “No,” I laugh. 

“Good.”

By the time we’re downstairs and walking down the street we can vaguely make out Michael and two other guys hanging by a car. 

Walking closer, I can see the lit end of a cigarette burning in the darkness. Michael brings it to his lips, sharply inhaling and then exhaling, the smoke billowing out in the air. It’s almost ready to be stubbed out and he brings it to his mouth one last time before dropping it to the ground and grinding it out with his feet.

 “Mia, you already know Michael.” Emily says, and Michael winks at me, smiling and sitting down in the driver’s seat 

“This is Will and Hutch.” I can barely make out the faces in the darkness, but I smile anyway, straightening out my dress and sitting in the backseat by the window.

“Jack Kerouac?” I ask, picking up a copy of On the Road that’s lying beside the seat.

“Yeah, he’s great,” Michael replies, a cigarette behind his ear as turns the car on. I smile, I have a copy in my suitcase that I’ve had for a while – the pages are bent over and filled with ink markings from my notes.

“He went here, to Columbia, you know,” Will (I think) points out and I nod my head, looking out the window as Michael puts the car in drive and starts off down the street in directions that he probably knows by heart.

They all make jokes and talk, passing around a bottle of whisky and all I can do is look at the window as the lights quickly flash by. I laugh along at my new-found friends, and smile to myself, happy to go to a party full of people I don’t know, something that made me nervous just an hour ago.

Because what’s a fresh start without a little uncertainty? 

***

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