Roommates with a Player

Chapter Forty Five: She's Letting Go

            “You look…happier, Emma,” Nathan whispered to me, reaching out a shaky hand to pat my cheek. It was probably still flushed.

            I only smiled back, not really knowing what to say. Nate was dying and I couldn’t even find the words to speak.

            “How are ya holdin’ up, buddy?” Ricky asked him.

            Nathan’s face turned grave. “Not well. This…this might be it.”

            “No, don’t say that,” I mumbled, my voice tightening.

            I brought my arm around to cradle his head, using my fingers to smooth out the worry lines creasing his forehead. He nestled my arm, closing his eyes and taking a deep breath. When he reopened them, there were tears budding.

            “I’m ready to go see him,” he whispered inaudibly.

            “Ready to see who?” I asked, my vision blurring.

            “Trevor, my brother,” his voice cracked, and a soft, muffled cry escaped his lips.

            My heart welled with sadness, knowing Nathan’s death inevitable. I didn’t want it to come…ever. We were crying now, staring into each other’s eyes, and each looking for the answer out of this. Ricky stood above us, his face emotionless.

            Trevor meant everything to Nathan; it was obvious to anyone who really knew him. I don’t think Nathan was ever the same after his death, and seeing him lying in this hospital bed, it made me wonder if in some way, Nathan had planned it.

            “Nate, I’m sorry we didn’t work out,” I blubbered.

            He laughed weakly. “It wasn’t meant to be. Ricky is really the only one, I think. You two are in love; I can see it both of your eyes. Please don’t let anyone stand in between that.”

            I nodded, taking in his words.

            Nathan continued, staring intently at me. “Emma, I’m so glad we got to know each other. You were the only girl I ever loved, and you’ll always be. Having seen your bravery firsthand, I’m not afraid of my future. You’ve given me hope that I’ll never let go of. I don’t know how to explain that any other way.”

            I pulled him into a hug, careful not to make him exert too much effort. I tried my best to control my sobs, but soon my snot and tears had soaked his hospital gown’s sleeve. I didn’t want to hear his last words.

            When I let go, Nathan kissed me on the forehead. I stood back up, giving him room. He turned to Ricky, who was idle on the other side.

            “I regret not mending our friendship back together. You were always such a great guy and I’m so sorry for all the things I did to you. This is probably not the best place to be confessing this, but I need to get it off my chest. I wished I could’ve been there for you more, and you’ll never understand my grief on the subject,” Nate said.

            Ricky’s face bunched up, but he remained composed.

            “You’ll always be my friend. I promise,” he replied, reaching out to fist-bump with Nathan.

            “Do you promise to watch over Emma, too?” he added.

            “Of course,” Ricky smiled.