Desire (Kakashi) - Indefinite Hiatus

Boy Advice and a History Lesson from Haku:

“If you’re going to kill me, please just get it over with.” I say softly, cracking one eye open. Haku jerks back, eyes wide. He bows his head slightly, long hair falling forward.

“Sorry.” He mutters.

“Don’t apologize.” I sit up, my body stiff, and shoot him a crooked smile. “You’d make a pretty girl, Haku.”

He looks up and smiles sweetly. “So I’ve been told.”

“Collecting herbs?” My sapphire eyes flicker to his small wicker basket. Haku fallows my gaze and nods.

“Why were you sleeping out here?”

I sigh and lean back against the tree trunk, sharp bark digging into the skin of my back. My thoughts drift back to the night before-to Kakashi-and I shake my head. “Just needed some alone time.” I whisper, pulling my knees to my chest. “Got lost.”

We sit in silence for a few moments, listening to the birds chirp and the squirrels chatter brightly. “You’re different…from the last time I saw you.” He says finally.

“So are you.” I smile. “Now you’re a girl.”

Haku laughs and nods. “True, but I meant you’re not as…happy? You seem troubled.”

Fiddling with my bandages, I avoid his gaze and think for a few minutes. “It’s complicated.” I breathe finally. “A mixture of a whole bunch of different things. Plus, I have to act more mature around Kakashi.” My voice grows dark.

“Why?” Haku cocks his head to the side innocently.

“He told me to grow up.” I scoff softly. “So I’m going to, and I’m going to show him just how much he secretly loves me being weird and childish.”

Haku nods slightly. “It’s a shame.” He says softly, eyes flickering to the headband that encircles my neck.

I nod and sigh softly. “Haku…you hold Zabuza close to your heart…don’t you?”

“Yes.” He says swiftly, a small smile gracing his features.

“Is he…has he ever…” I trail off. “Is he ever a pain in the ass?” I ask finally, lips curling down into a scowl. “Do you ever want to rip his stupid little spikes out and shove them down his throat?”

Haku sits back; folding his arms in his lap, and flashes me a real smile. “All the time.” He laughs. “But I don’t suppose you’re still talking about Zabuza?”

I shake my head and stifle a small laugh. “He’s like a roller coaster.” I say burry my face in my knees. “I don’t know what to think. I can’t even tell if he likes me or not-and I mean like person wise. Half the time he hates my guts.”

“Maybe he’s having a hard time coming to terms with his feelings.” Haku says.

I think about that for a moment. “But it shouldn’t be too hard to figure out if I’m allowed to live, right?”

Haku laughs lightly. “Maybe he likes you?”

A loud snort rips past my lips. Haku jumps, eyes widening, and I am taken by a large wave of laughter. “I’m sorry.” I squeal, clutching my throat, “I didn’t mean to do that!”

Haku laughs an awkward little laugh.

Once I am able to calm down, I exhale deeply and flash the cross dresser a crooked smile. “It’s just you totally caught me off guard. That’s impossible. You should see the way he glares at me. I swear he has a list going on and is marking down his reasons for wanting to kill me. That way if he ever does, he can just leave that as his explanation.” I giggle.