Darkest Light

Lost Possibilities

By the time six o'clock rolls around I am nervous as hell. Sy is scooting around on the floor, almost crawling. I am standing by the window, watching the empty street outside. Finally, after an afternoon of waiting, Edward's shiny silver Volvo pulls into my driveway. I watch him get out of the car and stride up the driveway with a knowing smile on his face and then he lifts his golden eyes and stares straight at me. I jump back as if stung and hurry over to the door.

When I open it, he is standing on the top step, looking down at me. 

"Did you think I wouldn't come?" he asks with a light humor I have never heard in his voice before. 

"No, I knew you would come. Please, come in," I say and step aside. He walks past me into the living room and his eyes fall instantly to Sy who is staring at him from the floor. It is a tense moment as they just stare at each other, then Sy smiles and holds out his hands to be picked up.

"This is my brother Sylus. It looks like he likes you," I say with a wide smile. Edward looks hesitant as he walks over and crouches down. Very slowly he stretches out his hand and lets Sylus wrap his fat fist around his finger. Both Edward and Sylus laugh in unison as Edward helps him into a standing position and holds him there by the finger. For some reason, the scene brings hot tears to my eyes and I feel like my chest swells until I am afraid it may burst. Cal has never once held Sylus or even touched him. And here is Edward, helping him stand and laughing with him. 

I struggle to get control as Edward gently scoops Sylus into his arms and stands. Sylus immediately reaches for his face and Edward brushes a light kiss across his chubby hand as Sy grabs for his lips. 

"He is amazing Mel," says Edward with a smile that almost blinds me with its tenderness and intensity. 

"I know he is. Can I get you something to drink or eat?" I ask as he sets Sylus back on the floor by his toys and then straightens up. 

"No, thank you," he says quietly staring at me. 

"Um, would you like to sit down and we can get started?" I ask and we both take a seat on the couch. 

As we talk and joke, I begin to relax and Cal slips from my mind. Edward's presence consumes me and for the first time in over a year, I am actually happy. There is no fear or hatred around Edward, there is just happiness and comfort and love...love? Did I actually think that about a boy I just met? But as I sit and watch Edward play with Sylus or tell me about his family or even when we just sit in comfortable silence, I can feel the explosion of warmth in my chest and though I refuse to think the word again, I know what it means. 

It doesn't take long to pick an essay topic. We decide to do our paper on the moral and ethical issues in To Kill A Mockingbird. After that we push Sylus around the room in a box while he laughs and laughs. Then it is dark and late and time to put Sylus to bed, but I don't want the day to end, and judging by Edwards hesitation to walk to the door, he feels the same way. So I make up my mind in an instant and though I have no idea how much trouble it will cause me in the following days, I stop him from leaving. 

"Do you want to stay and help me get him ready for bed?" I blurt and he turns slowly with a blinding smile on his face. 

"I would love to," he says and follows me upstairs. 

We start with a bath. The two of us kneel by the tub and roll up our sleeves. Edward's eyes darken as he sees the now deep purple bruises on my arms, but he doesn't say anything. Sylus loves his baths so we let him splash and play, getting both of us wet. After the bath I dress him and Edward holds him while I fix his bottle. When I walk back upstairs, Edward is sitting in the rocking chair in the corner of Sylus's room, singing softly to him. I watch as Sylus's eyes slowly droop closed and don't re-open. Edward stands carefully and walks to the crib. Before he lays him down in his bed, he brushes a kiss as soft as a butterfly's wings across the top of Sy's head and then he pulls the blanket over him. I watch all of this from the doorway, full of emotions I can't put name too. 

Edward turns, walking towards me. He stops right in front of me because I am blocking the door. I silently step aside and let him pass. I follow him down the stairs into the living room where he swings his backpack onto his shoulder and then turns to face me. 

"I should probably go. It is getting late," he says quietly. When I don't say anything, he starts towards the door. 

"Wait," I say louder than I intended and he stops mid step and turns. 

"Um...you forgot your pen," I say, snatching his pen off the side table and going over to hand it to him. I am so close to him that I can feel his cool breath brushing over my face. 

"Thanks," he whispers, staring straight into my eyes. 

I don't know what cam over me and what I was thinking, but in that moment, rational thought fled like it was being chased by a pack of rabid dogs. Keeping my eyes on his the whole time, I lean up on my tiptoes and touch my lips to his. Both of us gasp at the warm electricity that sparks through us and then his arms are around my waist and my hands are tangled in his bronze hair. I am pressed against his cold, rock hard body and I crave more contact. But Edward holds me gently, careful not to hurt any of my injuries. 

I don't know how long it went on, it could have been seconds or years, but eventually we break apart. We are both breathing hard and his hand is still on my waist.For a long time, we just stand in silence. Then I see the headlights on the street slow and stop in front of the house and I know my grandma is home. 

"I should go," says Edward. I just nod, unable to verbalize my thoughts yet. "I will see you at school tomorrow." He kisses me softly on the cheek and then he is gone. I stay downstairs just long enough to say goodnight to my grandma and then escape to my room where I throw open my window and let the cool night air clear my head. I don't know what happened with Edward and I hope with every ounce of my being that Cal never finds out. I know I can never leave Cal, never be with Edward, but I also know that I feel Edward's absence like a hollow aching in my chest. For this one glorious night, I got a glimpse of what it could be like, to be in love with someone who loves me back and who would never hurt me. And I want that life, I want it so bad that I could scream, because I know that I will never have that. With hot tears streaming down my face at the loss of a beautiful life, I crawl into bed and cry myself to sleep. 

Edward

 
I can barely contain my excitement and happiness as I drive home. I have't felt this light in over a century. Kissing Mel was like nothing I have ever experienced. I could feel every inch of her against me, but more than that, I could feel her happiness and acceptance. My lips are still burning and if a dead heart could beat, mine would be pounding. This is the first step to getting Mel away from that boy and to protecting her. 

My high lasts until I get home, then I see something that not only ruins the high, it brings me crashing and burning down. Alice is standing in the garage with a look of horror on her face. I slip into her head and what I see there makes my dead heart fall to my toes. It is Melody lying on the floor with wide open eyes and blood soaking through her clothes. She is undeniably dead and it is clearer than Alice's previous vision. This outcome has already been decided, and I know who's decision it was. The question is, when will it happen and how will I stop it. 

Cal

I tear around my room, throwing and smashing anything I can get my hands on. The floor is littered with shattered glass and broken objects and I roar at the top of my lungs. When Mel didn't call me tonight, I went over to her house. I was about to knock when I caught a glimpse of her in the window. When I leaned over and saw her, my vision went red. She was all over that Cullen freak, and he was obviously not protesting. Why should he? He was making out with my girl. 

I left before anyone saw me and headed home where I proceeded to smash my room. Now I sit on my bed and plan. I refuse to let anyone else have Mel. If she won't be with me, she won't be with anyone. And with my lips tugged up in a smile, I know exactly what I am going to do, and it will be easy. After all it won't be the first time.