Against Her Will

Chapter Forty-Two

Chapter Forty-Two

Tanner slowed down his pace as he entered Temperance's room and saw her standing on the balcony ledge and looking down at the ground below. Far enough below that if she jumped, or fell, he'd lose her forever.

He didn't want to surprise her and cause her to trip so he stayed in the bedroom and said her name to get her attention.

"Go away, Tanner," she whispered. Her voice was hoarse and thick and it was clear that she'd been crying.

He never should have left her this morning. Damn, why did he keep making mistakes?! "I'm not going away, Temp, so you're wasting time asking me to."

"Tanner, please..." Temperance's voice was broken and full of pain and guilt. "I'm broken! Stop trying to fix me! Just give up!"

"I'll never give up on you, Temp. You're wasting your breath telling me to." Tanner was working very hard to stay calm. He had seen suicidal people before. He had watched men take their lives and been helpless to stop them. He didn't want to watch Temperance die. He couldn't watch Temperance die. He had to talk her off that ledge and into his arms.

"Tanner, why are you making this hard?"

"I'm not making anything hard, sweetheart," Tanner assured her gently as he walked closer and stepped out into the morning sun.

"Don't come closer," she warned and he stopped in his tracks.

"Temperance, you can't jump off that ledge and you know that. You need to step down now before Jackson sees you."

"Jackson will be fine without me, Tanner... he'd be better off without me. You can laugh with him and play. I have never been able to give him those things."

Tanner's heart broke. "You can though, Temp. You did just yesterday."

"Yesterday I thought I could too..." Temperance glanced over her shoulder at him and he took in the sight of her blotchy cheeks and tear swollen eyes. "But this morning..."

"This morning was my fault, Temp. Come on down now. I'm here for you, sweetheart. You have to let this hurt out so come on down and we'll sit together and I'll just listen to whatever you have to say. I won't talk.. I won't try to fix you as you call it. I'll just listen and be there."

"Tanner..."

Tanner heard the smallest hint of uncertainty in her voice and he knew that she didn't really want to jump and that gave him all the hope he needed. If she didn't want to jump then he had to believe that she wouldn't.

"Temperance, don't do this to me. Don't make me watch the woman I love die. Don't do this to Jackson. Don't take his mother away from him. That boy loves you--he worships the ground you walk on. You are a strong woman. Too strong to do something like jump off a balcony and end your own life. Fight this, sweetheart. Come on down here to me."

"Don't try to make me feel guilty, Tanner. Everyone would be better off without me. You can give Jackson a better life and there is bound to be a woman who can give you more than I can...."

"Horse shit!" Tanner snapped.

He'd had enough. He lunged forward without giving her time to react and scooped her off of the ledge and into his arms. She stiffened and struggled desperately against him but he carried her over to the doorway, sat down cross legged and held her tight in his lap, refusing to let her go.

"Stop fighting me!" Tanner grunted when her fist connected with his temple. "You know I'm not going to hurt you. I'm not those men that hurt you, Temperance."