Haven't Met You Yet

Chapter 14 - Idiot

After Jasmine and I were done being pampered, I dropped her off and drove to Jay's house.

I pretty much soaked the steering wheel with my clammy little hands. I was nervous as hell, mostly because I was scared of what the outcome may be.

There was always the possibility that he didn't like me, or maybe he was some kind of secret agent (probably not but that would be pretty cool right?!).

As I've mentioned before, I'm a very imaginative person. By imaginative, I mean highly overreactive.

I finally got to his apartment after about twenty minutes of driving around trying to kill time.

It was do or die.

I grabbed my phone and took my sweet time getting out and locking the car. I'm telling you, I was nervous as hell.

Before I even realized it, I was knocking on the door.

He answered the door in nothing but a pair of sweats. I never noticed how toned he actually was. It was like the perfect amount of muscle, and it was a heavenly sight when paired with his tattoos.

"My eyes are up here you pervert!" he gasped, covering his exposed chest and abs.

I rolled my eyes and punched him in the arm. "Shut up! I wasn't even looking, but it's pretty shocking to see that you actually have muscles."

"Well, I do work out ocasionally. Not all of us are fortunate enough to be blessed with a good figure like yourself." he scoffed and dragged me inside.

I just chuckled awkwardly and thanked him. I wasn't exactly sure what to say to that compliment. After all, he was still with Kelsey Ann.

"So what brings you here on this fine evening ?" he raised his eyebrow at me as we both sat down on the couch.

I cleared my throat before I spoke, not wanting to sound croaky or anything.

" Uh, I wanted to talk to you about something."

"Obviously. So what's going on?" He chuckled slightly.

I took a deep breath before I spoke.

" Well, I need to ask you something. Before I ask, I just want to say that I'm not asking to be an asshole or anything. I'm just... curious I guess."

He sat up straight and crossed his arms.

"Okay, go on."

Like most people tend to do when they're nervous, I sort of rambled. " So , this situation has happened more than once and I've been trying to just brush it off and forget about it. That's much easier said than done though and I honestly think that yo-"

"Get to the point already Sally." he interrupted me, sounding rather annoyed.

My eyes widened and I scoffed. Was he seriously getting an attitude with me?

Oh hell no.

"Okay fine, why do you always leave me? Like if we go out to get lunch or even when we're just hanging out."

He shot me a dirty look.

"Sorry to break it to you, but not everything revolves around you. I have a life too you know, one that doesn't involve you."

Ouch. I tried to play it off and pretend it didn't get to me.

I was confused to be honest, he was fine no less than ten minutes ago and now he was behaving like a child.

"My life doesn't revolve around you either princess. It's just a question, don't get your fucking panties in a twist." I huffed and got off the couch.

"Well then, what I do when I'm not with you shouldn't matter. It's none of your business anyways. We're not together or anything." he retorted, following me on my way to the door.

I wanted to punch him in his throat, why was he being so rude? It's not as if I asked for something unreasonable.

"Fine. I just thought it might be nice to know if something was going on with you that you cared enough to talk about. Cause clearly, it has an impact on you. So, excuse me for being concerned about my best friend." I hissed.

Then, I saw that look on his face again. It always seemed like he wanted to say something but just never acted on it.

"You don't have to worry about me. I was fine before I met you, and I'll be fine aft-"

I hoped he wouldn't say something like "after we're not friends". Even though he was pissing me off, I still cared about him and wanted to remain friends.

"Okay, I get it. You don't give a shit, you probably never have. So don't worry, you don't have to put up with me if you don't want to. All I wanted was one fucking answer and you couldn't even give me that. Have a nice night asshole." I snarled and slammed the door behind me.

I felt tears begin to fall from my eyes and I was glad he couldn't see me. I didn't want him to know how much I actually cared. Silly, I know.

I got back in the car and drove straight home. I didn't want to speak to anyone, mostly because I'd probably cuss them out.

I guess that's what I get for trying to fix things and meddle in things that really aren't my business.

•••••

Jay's P.O.V

Shit, way to go James. You've really done it this time. You should win an award at this point.

Instead of being a man and just telling her, I've fucked things up even more. As if that was possible...

Why was it so hard to tell her? She is my best friend, so , she'll understand. But, what if she doesn't.

I can't lose her. I need her.

Things would be so much easier if she only knew. But instead, I just watched her walk out the door- and I didn't do a damn thing to stop her.

I let out a loud scream and yanked on my hair. This was such a messy situation. I hated it, this was pure agony.

I threw a nearby glass against the wall and watched it shatter.

I needed to fix this, immediately. But, I had no idea where to start. I probably just hurt her way more than I realize. Not to mention, I'm pretty much playing games with her. One minute I'm just talking to her about something random, the next I'm telling her she's beautiful or doing something lovey-dovey.

I didn't do these things to hurt her, I just didn't know how to control myself around her. She made my mind go wild when she was aroud. Hell, even when we texted each other she drove my emotions through the roof.

If only I could help her understand. I didn't mean any of it, and I should've never said such horrid things to her.

Because, she was more than my best friend. We both knew it. I guess I just had a better way of hiding it.

I don't have much of a choice though. I can't like Sally, I have to like Kelsey. Why can't I just get that through my head?

This was all just too much to think about. It seemed like it was just one thought after another. I walked into the kitchen and grabbed a beer.

Maybe if I could just drink away the thoughts, they'd go away for good.

Of course, that never worked but, this was how I dealt with things I didn't know how to fix. And I sure as hell didn't know how to fix us.

And that's the worst thing, there isn't even an "us" to fix...

No matter how much I want her, I can't have her.

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Hi lovelies (: !

Hope you enjoyed this chapter. I'm kind of out of it today but I really wanted to update so I went against my better judgement and wrote this chapter. Oops.

Like I said before, I'll try to be more frequent with updates (:

Thanks for all your reads, votes and patience !

Xx