Let's Pretend My Tears Are Raindrops

Chapter 7--Let's Pretend My Tears Are Raindrops

Here's another short one, sorry. I just thought where I ended it was good for the "dramatic effect" of the story.

Anyways, all I can really say is TRY to enjoy it, even though it's sad.

And if you somehow MANAGE to enjoy it, then maybe you should consider voting or fanning or commenting.

Luv you guys, all of you,

--Kayce♥♥

p.s. Don't you just love the chapter name??

Chapter Seven-Pain's Just Another Name For Life

Derek's fast speed-walk turned to an unrushed stroll in 2.2.

"You have a boyfriend." He said. It wasn't a question.

"I had a boyfriend." I corrected.

"Buy he broke up with you and you still love him." Again, it wasn't a question. He obviously thought he knew me a lot better than he really did.

"He loves me, too." I whispered as a bitingly icy breeze flew across my face, twirling my hair in the wind. I could see the snow starting to come down again, in its huge fluffy flakes. The silence of the night made the whole conversation almost eerie.

Derek furrowed his brows in the moonlight. I saw him glance at me out of the corner of his eyes. Their brown color almost looked black in the darkness. I still wasn't sure if I wanted to tell him any of this, but I didn't have a choice anymore. I couldn't just drop the subject and pretend I was just you average hormone-crazy teenage girl who was caught up in a guy that it would never work out with. I didn't want him to think that about me, either.

After a long silence Derek finally asked, "So why'd you break up? Was he, I don't know.... Pressuring you? Or did he do drugs or something."

I ignored his questions, slightly annoyed at the logic that Derek was having. He was starting to sound like a know-it-all.

"We never broke up." I tried, unsuccessfully, to stop my voice from cracking. Derek came to a halt in the snow.

"Then what? Oh." He said, realization crossing his face. "You moved." He started walking again because apparently he had me all figured out. Or at least that's what he thought.

I released a nervous laugh. "You think you're just so smart, don't you?"

"What?"

"You act like you know everything about me." His eyes shined and flashed cockily.

"Do I?" he asked, slightly smiling, kind of playfully.

"Not even close."

"What are you telling me?"

I sighed. I'd known this was coming ever since the conversation had turned this way, but I hadn't quite figured out the perfect way to tell Derek what he wanted to know about Brandon. Maybe the words for it were buried with him.

"Do I?" he asked, slightly smiling, kind of playfully.

"Not even close."

"What are you telling me?"

I sighed. I'd known this was coming ever since the conversation had turned this way, but I hadn't quite figured out the perfect way to tell Derek what he wanted to know about Brandon. Maybe the words for it were buried with him.

"Do you believe in God?" I finally asked him. That had been about as far as I'd gotten with trying to come up with this little speech. I was going to wing the rest.

"Of course. Everyone around here does.

"So then you believe in heaven and hell, too, right?"

"Yes." He paused. "Where are you going with this, Sam?" I had been hoping that he'd get the hint and that I wouldn't have to tell him the whole story of how it happened and what had happened. Unfortunately for me, guys were stupid and didn't know how to take a hint. I sighed again and tried to hold back my tears while I told him the truth.

"Brandon was the most amazing person I have ever met." I said.

"Was?" he said, shocked, finally catching on.

"Exactly." A sob escaped from the back of my throat and Derek turned to me with an astonished look. "But in September he found out he had cancer. It was in his stomach and he had to quit playing football. Then it spread to his liver. It took him away before any of us had a chance to think. There were so many things that I didn't get to say to him."

I felt my stomach churning.

I felt sick, even though I shouldn't have. The sobs where coming harder and it took me a while to realize that Derek had placed an arm around me, resting his hand on my shoulder. I let myself rest my weight on him, just a little bit.

"I-I'm so sorry, Sam. I had no idea....I thought-"

"You wanted to know so I told you." I said practically inaudibly through my crying.

"But I feel so..." he paused and then whispered another word, "horrible."

"It's okay." I said, even though it wasn't. I bit down on my lip. "You didn't know."

By this time I could finally see the lights of Good Ol' Limestone. Some people had porch lights. Some of the lights belonged to people's cars. But mostly I could see how every light in my house was on.

"Look," Derek said, "I know we're almost there, but if you don't mind I think I need to tell you something that I usually don't tell anybody about." He breathed.

"Okay." I whispered. I didn't know what to expect, but the general rule was to expect the unexpected when it comes to guys. I felt his arm tense around me and bring me closer to him just a little, even if it was just a few centimeters.

"You know how I live with my aunt and uncle?" He didn't bother to wait for an answer. "That's because last summer my dad died over in Iraq. It was just a couple weeks before he was supposed to come home. It was one of the hardest things for me to ever have to go through. My dad and I weren't that close, though, since he was gone on business a lot. I didn't really know him that much. But my mom... she got really depressed. And then...." There was a huge pause. "Then one night I came home from the movies and my mom was lying on the floor next to the couch. I thought that maybe she was sleeping and fell off of the couch, but she was dead." His voice was barely audible. "They did an autopsy." He shivered and I was willing to bet that it wasn't because he was cold. "Sam, she took an overdose."

His voice was weak, almost like he was trying not to cry himself. But his voice still didn't crack.

"She killed herself." He said. "On purpose."

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Thanks for reading this!!

It was a reeeeallly sensitive chapter for me to write.

The suicide and everything.... but i thought that it should still go in there.

It was just really hard for me because I knew a girl that killed herself.

If you want, I wrote a poem about her and you can read it. It's in my poetry story group and it's called "That Trigger."

So I hope everyone liked this and if you check out the poem, let me know what you think, kay?

Have a great day and by the way, I'm almost to 30 fans!!!! Yay!!!!! You people make me SOOOO happy!!!!!

Luv,

me.