Title: Protector of the Crown
Author: vampireluver23
Genre: Adventure & Fantasy
Originality: 7/10
The plot is definitely unique. I have never read anything like that before and I like that fact that you did not make Audrey the Gold Warrior. The fact that she is not the best, but she is good makes her a more desirable character.
Your plot is something that stands out from the rest of the fantasy genre.
Spelling, Grammar, Flow: 6/10
Your grammar and spelling is fine, but the occasionally error still appears. Some of the stuff is capitalized irregularly, like Gold warrior. If you are going to capitalize ‘Gold’, capitalize ‘Warrior’ as well.
In addition, some of the flow was choppy. And in some parts, the way you worded the sentences makes it sound really weird. I do recommend that you go back and edit a bit. Other than that, it was good.
Characters: 7/10
Your characters are a bit unclear and at times, I feel like I do not know too much about them. You do have clear descriptions of them, and I like that. I feel that your characters would be stronger if you managed to tie each of them to something that makes them stand out more as an individual.
Audrey is a strong character, but I would love to see more of her emotional side that will help us understand her better.
Descriptions: 5/10
You describe your characters very well, but you lack description when it comes to surroundings. I cannot get a clear picture of the surroundings and that really blocks the flow and the image of the story. I recommend that you add in more description to balance out your dialogue and to add a background to your story.
Often, people tell me to have a proper background set before even starting to write.
Plot: 6/10
The plot is unique, but I feel that it would be even stronger if you added in a bit more purpose and moved the plot a bit faster while staying in line with the story. At times, the story line seems a bit off track and it leads away. Though, you generally bounce back pretty quick.
Grand Total: 31/50
