Title: Pallas Wood And Her World
Author: LisaaLovee
Genre: Romance & Teen Fiction
Originality: 7/10
Um...I don't know, but it looks a lot like the Percy Jackson series with the whole demigod and camp idea. To me, it seems like you have a good idea underneath the whole layer of confusion.
Spelling, Grammar, and Flow: 5/10
Your whole organization is messy. Why was every single word for the first and half of second paragraph capitalized. I didn't really get that it it threw off the whole flow of the story. It is just one of those things that glares at a reader.
In addition, your spelling needs editing. You spelt 'rivalry' as 'riveraly'.
Your paragraphs are a bit too long as well. Try to shorten them. For a person that is reading, huge blocks of text might not be what they want to read. Seperate them and it will be a lot easier on the eyes.
Characters: 6/10
Your characters are vague. You don't give me too much of their looks or their personality. Most people like to know who the character is and have an identity for them before the whole plot unfolds. Personally, I like to know the character well before the plot, because then, I can know what to expect of them and what not to expect of them.
Your side characters should not stand out much -- which is exactly what you did -- but they should not blend into one mix either. Give them something important and distinct so that readers will know who is who.
Descriptios: 7/10
You are lacking descriptions in your story. I don't see much description of the location, the character, the actions, or the emotions. You need to emphasize a few things. Instead of taking paragraphs to describe a room, authors will often choose a few memorable things to highlight in a room. Same thing when it comes to characters, emotions, or actions.
Plot: 7/10
You do seem to have a plot worked out and I think that with an editor, you can transform your story to a top-quality one. Hit the editor's club and the critiquing club today to find some willing readers that will help you with the mechanics of writing.
Grand Total: 32/50
Keep on writing!
