Title: A Romantic Surprise!
Author: LisaaLovee
Genre: Romance & Teen Fiction
Originality: 6/10
To be honest, the idea is not the most unique in the world with the whole orphaned thing and having bad parents. I don't midn you toying with it though. Because you have so little up, I can't really judge too much of it.
Spelling, Grammar, and Flow: 8/10
At this point, it is still hard to tell. I usually read two to three chapters before I judge...unless I feel like I need to read more, but because you don't have a lot up yet, I will try my best.
Your spelling and grammar seems fine. A few awkward sentences here and there, but nothing major that can throw you off. Maybe go over it again when you have time to filter out the awkwardness.
Your flow is fine and I saw nothing in particular that I wanted to point out.
Characters: 6/10
Kelly seems a bit too simple. Add in more to her. I see single stranded emotions like anger and sadness in her, but I want to see more complicated emotions and personalities that defines her as a unique person and brings her to life.
Amanda is a walking stereotype and though I don't mind it too much, I would recommend adding in more of a twist when it comes to her.
Jake is down right...unnatual. Most guys -- like me -- will take their girlfriend's side and even though he might no bully, he wouldn't leave her for such a simple reason. Add in more reasons why he would want to break up with her.
Descriptions: 7/10
You definitely have good ones in there, but I want to see more emotion. It is a story that will need emotion and I want to have lots of it!
Plot: 7/10
Your plot is good and I expect the story to turn out great!
Grand Total: 34/40
Keep on writing!
