Color Me Bruised

Chapter 14

De next day, ah tried mah best tuh only answer Mr. Williams wid a yes or uh no. Honestly, ah wasn't sure what ah wuz mad about made sense. Ah wuz a nigger xpectin uh white man tuh  defend me gainst his brother. Course he wouldn't. Ah started regretin  De nights we had togethuh. Ah should uh stayed in mah place and he shoulda jus remained mah mastuh.

He would try tuh touch me an caress me, but ah'd move away. I wasn't sore no more, but whenever he touched me, ah felt uneasy. Ah ain't want tuh hurt him, but ah also ain't want tuh be his hideaway nigger mistress. He left de house widout sayin nothin tuh me. Ah opened De kitchen window a and scrubbed its floor. Then, ah heard uh voice coming from de window.

"So, you're the famous nigger "servant" he spoke about." A man said.

Ah got off de floor, stood up and lowered mah head.

"He was right about something---" He said before leavin decwindow and enterin de house through de back door. "You are a beauty, that doesn't happen a lot in niggers."

He walked aroun  me lak he wuz spectin me. He had some uh Mister Williams', but he wasn't as handsome as de man who shared mah bed. Once he stopped spectin me, he sat down an asked fuh some wader. Ah wuz so afraid. Der wuz somethin strict an hard bout him. Lak he don't fuhgive easy. He wuz lak many oduh whites. He wuz racist. It ain't seem lak uh big deal tuh me, ah dealt wid it all mah life.

Ah gave him de wader he wanted and stood uh few steps behind him tuh De right.

"Seems like my older brother inherited the nigger syndrome like our father. Our mother hated your kin. Oh the sight of them made her sick.  Our father on the other hand, loved them. He had a nigger mistress which he took better care of rather than his own wife."

Ah lowered mah head.

"My older brother seems like he began this penchant after Louise died".

Penchant? Louise? Ah wanted tuh ask who she wuz, but ah couldn't find myself tuh.

"I guess he did not tell you, did he?" He said turnin around but still sittin down."Louise is my secretive older brother's late wife. She was stunning and witty and white. He went into depression after she died. It seems as though he's found himself a new toy in you---um--whatever your name is."

Wife?

"Oliver? What are you doing here?" Said Mister Williams who just came intuh de kitchen.

"Older brother. I need you to finalize the estate papers. " Daniel Williams" ". He said walking over to Mister Williams, handing over a few documents. " Well, seems like I have to leave now. I will see you in a few days." He said headin tuh De door.

Ah walked ovuh tuh open it. Wid uh menacin look, he tipped de end uh his hat an left.

Right when ah closed De door, ah walked away from Mister Williams, angry, and started goin up de steps.

"Mercy." He said.

Ah turned around.

"Somethin ah can help you wid Mister Williams?" Ah said as politely as ah could.

"Did he tell you?" He ask me.

"Tell me what?"

He sighed and squeazed de skin uh hi forehead.

"Louise."

"You ain't never think tuh tell me?" Ah said in an angry tone.

" I did. But I didn't know when to."

"So,yuh let yuh brother who hates me cuz uh de color uh mah skin tell me?"

"I am sorry, Mercy."

Mah first sorry from uh white man.

"Yuh used me tuh git ovuh yuh wife. Did yuh even mean it when you said yuh love me?" Ah said calmly wid tears rollin down on mah cheeks.

"No, at first, I did think with you, I could forget her, but I did lie when I told you I loved you."

Ah shook mah head and made mah ways up de stairs, went intuh mah room, an locked de door. Ah sat against de door an just started thinkin. What if he really ain't de person ah thought he wuz. What if he wuz uh snake?

Ah heard his steps come towards mah door and ah heard him sit agains  de door tuh. Ah could here him run his fingers through his hair. Ah realized he did dat whenever he felt uncomfortable or when he wuz aroused.

"I really am sorry, Mercy." He said.

Ah ain't respond, so he made somtehin go unduh de door. Looked lak some documents inside uh seal.

Ah opened dem an it said:

"To whom this may concern, this hereby woman slave, Mercy Peters, on this day of April 29th, has been pronounced free of a life of servitude. This document has been issued by Sir Daniel Williams, and in no way under the lawful eyes of this country can it be revoked." Ah continued readin. "Price paid: 10,000 American coins."

10,000? Ah read de paper ovuh an ovuh again, tryna find uh mistake. Tryna find anything DAT said Mercy Peters wuz still uh slave unduh such an such, but ah ain't find nothin. Dat  whole heap uh money jus given away to free me. Yes, Ah wuz free. Free uh bondage and suffering an bein evry man's ho fuh de night.

Ah slowly opened De door dat creaked along.  He got off De floor and seem lak he wuz ashame tuh look at me in de eye. Ah wanted tuh be so mad at him, an hate him fuh not defendin me gainst his brother, dat when ah saw de paper, ah ain't know what tuh think. Ah looked at him and saw him run his finguhz  through his hair.

Ah just stood bah de door widout sayin nothin. Ah waited fuh him tuh say somethin but he ain't.

"Tell me bout Louise." Ah told him.

"W--are you serious?"  He said wid a shock.

Ah proceeded in gettin inside an he followed aftuh. We both took us uh seat on de bed, and he jus spoke. He tole me how poise and hidstrong an lovely an beautiful an jus one uh de most comprehensive people he ever met, an how she died cuz uh infection in huh livuh an lungs. Ah could see in his eyes he still love huh. Ah wuz regrettin askin him tuh tell me bout huh, but ah knew ah could nevuh be at huh level cuz she wuz white an de first one his heart.  Ah turn mah head tuh face de moon cuz when he stop talkin ah aint had nothin tuh say. 

He got off de bed and got on one uh his knees, grab mah lef hand, kissed it and said:

"But I could never, in this lifetime or the next, compare to with you. She held my heart for the longest, and she will always have a place even 40 years from now. But I love you. I love your long wavy black hair and how it matches your eyes. I love your stuborness, I love your cooking, your touch and smell. I love you and only you and no family or skin color could possibly change that." 

Ah soon started tuh feel tears comin down fast on mah cheeks. He stood up an gave me a kiss. Both uh us got intuh mah bed still wid our afternoon clothes on and just slept real close tuh one anothuh. He pulled so close tuh him an started kissin mah neck. He locked his finguhz in mine and ah knew he wasn't gon stop. He took mah dress off an he kiss me all along mah neck ,mah face, mah chest, ears and breasts but he ain't get further than dat. Dat's what made it even mo' special. He took off his shirt after complainin he wuz uncomfortable and pulled me tuh him wid mah breasts pressed against his chest. He gave me uh goodnight kiss on de forehead and we both fell asleep quickly after.

Ah wuz grateful.