My Sweet Escape

7)Mom

Seventeen years ago on July twentieth, my mom died. Which just happens to be today and it's the only day every year I have to have off. For the last eight years Lex has spent today with a friend or her dad when we were still together. I usually can't even adult let alone be a mom. I'm not sure how much she actually knows about today. I've never talked about it. I haven't even gotten dressed. I'm still in my yellow plaid Hufflepuff pajama pants with my yellow racerback tank. My matching house shoes are sitting by my chair waiting to be used. My now slightly longer and desperately needing to be redyed hair threw up in a messy bun. I'm sitting in my overstuffed arm chair just starring off in to space. Lex is in her room watching doctor who. I can hear every word but none of them are registering.

There's a knock on my door. I don't even look toward it. After a few knocks Lex's phone rings and the tv pauses.

"Hello. Right ok hang on I'll be right there." And she walks out of her room and to the door. Turning the light on. I pull my Hufflepuff quilt over my head and sink in to the chair.

"Hey guys come on in." She says.

"Um where is she?" Calum asks. Lex sighs.

"The chair under the blanket. Now I know why I'm always somewhere else today."

"Why? What's today?" Luke asks.

"Ummmmmmm. Mom?" I take a deep breath and push the quilt off my head.

"It's the anniversary of something really terrible in my past. And no I really don't want to talk about it." About that time my phone rings. I stare at the phone like its diseased. Even though it's a different number every year I still know who it is.

"Kels you gonna answer that?" I look at Luke. Out of the corner of my eye I see Calum headed for my phone. I gasp and snatch it before he can.

"Hello." I say with as much confidence as possible. Calum looks at me funny as a tear slowly slides down my face.

"Just your yearly reminder to keep your fucking mouth shut daughter of mine. Just because your far away doesn't mean I can't do the same to you I did to your whore of a mother." And he hangs up. I'm shaking as I run to the bathroom and throw up. I mean what was I expecting. He leaves me the same message every year. I have never answered before and I think that makes it more real. I hear arguing while I'm sobbing on the bathroom floor in the fetal position. When the voices stop I'm pulled in to someone's arms. I look up and I'm met with brilliant hazel eyes instead of the beautiful brown ones I was expecting.

"Ash? What" is all I can say.

"I told them I wanted to take this. I knew you wouldn't want to talk about it and they'll just ask questions." I shrug and cuddle in to him. "I know" he whispers. I look back at him.

"Know what?"

"What today is. Why you are trying to shut the world away."

"What did Lex tell you?" I ask confused. Even less sure of how much she knows now.

"Only that you were sad and needed cheering up and it was a bigger task then she could handle. I found this stuff out on my own. After our first meeting when Cal said he liked you," he sighs and winces. "I googled you. Have you ever googled yourself." I shake my head no but I'm really scared what he's found. "I found out what happened to your mom. I'm so sorry, but I needed to know you weren't crazy or some stalker. The more I read the more I became fiercely protective over you. Did they ever catch who did it? They said you were the only witness and you never gave them up?" I look at him and I can't breath. I open my mouth to respond. Oh gawd no I can't talk about this. Tears stream down my face.