teardrops on my guitar // s.m

2

"Someday I'll be living in a big old city, and all you're ever gonna be is mean."

-

I woke up to the sun shining bright into my room. I looked around to make sure I wasn't dreaming. This is real. I got out of bed and went down the stairs to cook myself some breakfast. I cracked some eggs and popped some toast into the toaster. When it was done, I sat at the table and scrolled through my social media. On twitter, a lot of fans were congratulating me.

"@sarahwilson congrats on your house! love you !!"

"@sarahwilson I'm so happy for you! congrats and I hope everything works out! make more YouTube covers please!"

And there were many more where they came from. I replied to as many of them as I could. I was very thankful for my fans. Without them, I'd still be in Toronto, accomplishing nothing with my life.

I put my plate in the sink and went back upstairs. I did my hair and makeup, and got dressed.  (Pic)

I grabbed my camera equipment and set it up in my living room. I didn't want to film in my room because it's not decorated yet, and the living room is. I grabbed a bar stool from the kitchen and put it in front of the camera. I pressed record, then sat down.

"Hey guys it's Sarah! So today I'm going to be doing a cover of Andra Day's song Rise Up. Enjoy!"

"You're broken down and tired
Of living life on a merry go round
And you can't find the fighter
But I see it in you so we gonna walk it out
And move mountains
We gonna walk it out
And move mountains

And I'll rise up
I'll rise like the day
I'll rise up
I'll rise unafraid
I'll rise up
And I'll do it a thousand times again
And I'll rise up
High like the waves
I'll rise up
In spite of the ache
I'll rise up
And I'll do it a thousands times again
For you
For you
For you
For you

When the silence isn't quiet
And it feels like it's getting hard to breathe
And I know you feel like dying
But I promise we'll take the world to its feet
And move mountains
We'll take it to its feet
And move mountains

And I'll rise up
I'll rise like the day
I'll rise up
I'll rise unafraid
I'll rise up
And I'll do it a thousand times again
For you
For you
For you
For you

All we need, all we need is hope
And for that we have each other
And for that we have each other
We will rise
We will rise
We'll rise, oh oh
We'll rise

I'll rise up
Rise like the day
I'll rise up
In spite of the ache
I will rise a thousands times again
And we'll rise up
Rise like the waves
We'll rise up
In spite of the ache
We'll rise up
And we'll do it a thousands times again
For you oh oh oh oh oh
For you oh oh oh oh oh
For you oh oh oh oh oh
For you"

"Thank you all so much for watching, and I'll see you in the next video. Bye." I said through tears. I pressed the button I did in the beginning to end the video.

This song never fails to get me in my feelings. I sat in the same spot for a couple of minutes, just staring down at the floor and crying. I thought of my life, and everything that has happened before this moment.

I went to my room and grabbed my laptop. I put the sd card in my laptop so I could edit it. I rewatched the video, and in the video I could see my eyes tearing up at some points. Once I saw myself tear up in the video, I started to cry. About a year ago I did want to die. And I tried to die, but I thank god everyday that I'm still here living life. At the end of the video, you could see tears rolling down my cheeks, but I think that's what makes the video so much more real.

Before I posted the video, I added all of my social media links in the description, along with a message at the top.

I'm so sorry that I look so depressed while singing, it's just, this song reminds me of a time in my life where everything went wrong. I had absolutely no one. I was alone in every way, but somehow I got out of it. And I wanna say that if you feel this way, you're not alone. I love you.

-

I was in a deep sleep until my phone's constant buzzing woke me up. I unlocked my phone and I had millions of notifications from Twitter.

"what the fuck?" I whispered to myself. It's 2 am, why is everyone tweeting me?

I clicked on one of the sources and it took me to a tweet that had over 500k retweets and likes.

"@shawnmendes: I think you all should check out this video. The girl singing is beautiful and amazing and she put a lot of emotion into this song."

Included in the tweet was a link to the video. I clicked on the link and it was my video.

Why would Shawn share my video? I didn't even think he remembered my name. I scrolled through the comments of my video.

"I'm not sure what happened, but I want you to know you're so strong!"

"This video broke my heart. Love you Sarah."

"So much emotion in one video. I'm so proud of you."

The last comment was from Shawn. How did he even find this video? Last time I checked, we don't follow each other on any social media.

I put my phone down and got out of my bed. I opened the door to the outside in my room and stepped out onto the balcony. I sat down on the chair I put out there and ran my hands through my hair in confusion. I stayed out there for a couple of hours, staring at the stars before returning to my cozy bed.