Kinetic (complete)

12

I sat on my bed, still highly upset about Micah revealing things I had done out of anger and revenge. I had my reasons for killing them and I didn't regret the act of killing them but I did regret the circumstances that surrounded their deaths. I had been out of control and when my father discovered what I had done, he partnered with Micah to clean up the mess. It was one of the only times they worked together to accomplish something. To this day, I have no idea why Micah helped in that situation.

A light knock on my door announced William on the other side. I didn't allow him to come in but he entered regardless.

I didn't bother to look up at him as he sat next to me. Out of the corner of my eye, I saw him clasp his hands together as he thought.

"I'm sorry about him. We did discuss you."

"Discuss me," I scoffed quietly, "You don't get it, William. He is right about me. I get angry and I lose control. It is not safe for you to be around me."

"Tell me what you did," he prompted quietly.

I ran my fingers through my hair as I stood up. I paced in front of him in an attempt to release some of the frustration and anxiety but it didn't help much.

"I don't want to tell you."

"I know," he responded.

I stopped and looked at him for a moment. I knew the only way to keep him in my life was to tell him. I couldn't keep secrets from him. If I wanted him to be honest with me, I needed to be honest with him.

"Please don't leave me," I begged him. I had said it so quietly I wasn't sure if he had heard me but judging by the way his expression softened just a touch, he understood my plea.

"I was twenty when I finally discovered who killed my mother. I was enraged that my father knew and hadn't done anything about it. So I put a small group together without my father's knowledge and we went off to find the assassins. When I found them, I didn't just kill them. I brought them to the point of death but left them conscious so they would know every ounce of suffering I put their families through. I tortured and killed five innocent families. I would bend the assassin's mind to make them think they were doing these things to their own family but then bring them back to reality so they could see me doing it. I won't say I had no control over what I was doing because I did. I could have stopped at any time but I didn't want to. I still don't regret killing them or the way I went about it but I do regret involving innocent people."

William sat quietly for a moment as he simply stared at the wall behind me. I knew what I had done was disgusting and I knew it was hard to understand because he had never felt that kind of rage.

"Why did you take it that far?"

"What do you mean?"

"I understand they killed your mother but why did you go to that extreme? Something else must have happened."

"My father was away when they attacked so it was just the two of us. They knew that. They took me from my bed, bound me in silver, and forced me to watch while they...." I had never even told my father about this. He never wanted to know so I kept the details of her murder buried deep inside so no one would ever know.

"They held me in place while they raped her and beat her to death. They didn't just stab her or shoot her. They used their hands and feet to beat the shit out of her before she finally died. Then they told me to tell my father about it. I was six, William. You wonder why I have intimacy issues? Well, that's why."

"How did my father get involved in this?"

I exhaled roughly, "I'm not exactly sure why he helped cover it up. My father never told me and I'm not sure I want to know. I have a feeling he knew he was next on my list and to protect your mother, he agreed to help my father."