Love Hurts.

Chapter 5

It was building up inside me, anger, embarrassment, confusion, but most of all hurt. My eyes pricked as I couldn’t stop tears from escaping my eyes, why is he being like this I asked myself for probably the hundredth time today; I had to know, to understand.

He was sat at his desk his hands clenched into fists. He began looking out of the window, at the board, then the door. In fact, he was looking at any place that wasn’t me.

“Look at me” I pleaded.

He looked up but it was clear he was uncomfortable, I could tell he was angry and upset and all I wanted to do was go up to him, kiss him, ask him what’s wrong and then do my best to make him happy again, but the truth was I knew I couldn’t. He was angry with me and I didn’t know why.

Suddenly I couldn’t stop myself, I slowly began to walk over to him, until we were less than a metre apart, I needed to feel his embrace, feel his strong arms around me, comforting me, but he couldn’t even look me in the eye, I reached up to touch his face.

He flinched and moved away from my hand leaving it raised in mid-air. I let it drop back down to my side. He was still not talking. I felt as though the walls were closing in on me, I moved slowly towards the back of the class room.

“Don’t go.” He suddenly ordered. A feeling of hope rose from my stomach, I look up to his face, it was filled with hurt and sadness, I didn’t understand how he felt, what he wanted.

“Why were you looking at me like that?” I stuttered, the words didn’t want to leave my lips, clearly worried about the answer I was going to receive, “W-why did you t-tel-tell them you were single?”

He put his head in his hands whilst he sat unmoving in his chair, he refused to say anything for what felt like hours but couldn’t have been for more than a minute or two.

Then he spoke, but with absolutely no expression to his voice he stated,

“Because I am.”         

“What about me Connor! What about last night?” I cried my voice cracked, unable to take all this emotion my body was feeling I slumped down against the back wall, my hands in my hair.

“You lied to me Sarah, you let me kiss you, you let me…grope you knowing that you were a minor and I thought otherwise. How the hell could you do that?” he shouted at me clearly disgusted with what he’d done.

I was totally shocked, a confused look appeared across my face, I had no clue at what he was meaning, I had never lied to him!

“I told you I was in my last year!”

“Yeah I thought you meant at University!! Sarah you’re not even allowed to be clubbing where we met, you’re not 18! And now to top it all off I’m your fucking teacher!”

I was sobbing I thought he understood, I thought he knew,

“I thought you knew what I meant...” I couldn’t stop crying, “I’m sorry Connor. It’s not my fault we misunderstood each other, it’s not like I would deliberately try and hide it from you.”

For a moment a wave of sadness washed over his face only for it to be covered again quickly.

He stood up and slowly started to walk over to me, but he obviously changed his mind on what he was going to do, he stopped, just standing there for a moment, then sat on the edge of one of the desks.

“Well, you were wrong, this can’t happen, I’m sorry for what I did to you it was wrong, dirty and illegal, there will never be a repeat of it.” He snapped. Again it was all said totally expressionless, he couldn’t even look at me.