Edward: So.....guys...*sniffle sniffle* this is the very last Twilight Conversations.
Jacob: Ever?!
Edward: Ever....it seems that the brainwashed citizens of what is to be known as Panem in the future, well, and the rest of the world, have turned their attention from sexy werewolves and droning vampires to little kids stabbing each other to death.
Renesmee: OMG! That doesn't sound fun....
Jacob: I'll protect you, dollface....*start making out*
Edward: ANYWAY!
Jacob and Renesmee: 0_o Yeah?
Edward: Mysterydude has decided she wants to make a *weird voice* "Hunger Games" *normal voice* Conversations instead!
Alice: *walks in* OMG! That is totally not fair!
Edward: But in the end....it doesn't even matter!
Jacob: OMG I love Nickleback! It's my favorite band, like ever! Do you wanna go to a concert together? You know, I could get backstage tickets! I know a guy who has a cousin whose friend's neighbor's cousin's dog's breeder's husband's friend's teacher's son's professor's doctor's nurse.....is a security guard!
Renesmee: *rolls eyes and replies to Alice*I know, right? I should ALWAYS be the center of attention!
Alice: Oh wait, never mind, it's all good. I'm going to appear in THG Conversations. You guys might, but I am DEFINITELY going to.
Renesmee: *jealous glare*
Alice: Whaaateeever, Princess. *runs away at vampire speed*
Renesmee: *starts pouting*
Jacob: In the jungle, the mighty jungle, the lion sleeps tonight.........
Bella: *walks in* I threw a wish in the well, don't ask me I'll never tell......
Edward: OMG, that is totally my favorite song ever!
Jacob: *high pitched voice* Omigod you guys, I have an idea!
Others: What?!
Jacob: We should make character bucket lists! Since Mysterydude's gettting rid of us, let's do whatever we want!
Edward: I want to bake cookies in a tree!
Bella: I want to meet Justin Bieber and make sweet love to him in a tree!
Others: uhhhh...... 0_o
Bella: darn autocorrect! I meant Jacob Black!
Others: !
Jacob: *googly eyes*
Bella: I mean Edward!
Others: *relieved sigh*
Jacob *high voice* Boo you, whore.
Jacob: Kidding! I want to climb the highest mountain.......
Renesmee: And go there with me!
Edward: *rapper voice* Go there with me!
Bella:*teacher voice* Pick something more logical, Mr. Black. E=MC^2, you know!
Jacob: ohhh....right....okay, I want to make an egg omelet!
Renesmee: I want to poop out a burrito!
*all the other characters come out!*
Charlie: I want to finish pooping! *farts* Gotta go, guys, gotta go! *grabs lightsaber and runs out of room*
Victoria: I want to take a cooking class.....where they cook with ginger! The spice....or the humans*wink wink wink*
Billy: I want to phase into a sexy werewolf and imprint on a cucumber!
Embry: Been, there, done that, daddio. I want to.....try defyyyyinnnngggg gravity! I think I'll try.....
Billy: So you want to be on Broadway?
Embry: Of course!
Billy: Understandable.
Embry: under-stand-able, under-stand-able
yes it perfectly under-stand-able
compre-hen-sible, compre-hen-sible
not a bit reprehensible, its sooo de-fen-si-ble
Rebecca: I want to write a song with Justin Bieber!
Bella: NO! Justin Bieber is mine!
Everyone: 0_o
Bella: oops....I mean a mime! He's a mime??? Yeah, that's it!
Carlisle: I want to become a REAL boy!
Leah: Uhh.....actually, Justin's mine....but, anyway, I want to make a pizza and sell it to Bill Gates!
Seth: I want to meet Taylor Swift!
Jacob: No, that's my lover! I want to reunite with her! *starry eyes* So long, Ness!
Renesmee: *looks at Seth and raises her eyebrows* Me gusta!
Seth: hehe......
Sue: And I'm going to be the most enchanting creature in the forest!
Charlie: I WILL STOP BEING ADDICTED TO STOOL SOFTENER!!!
*******Please, save yourselves from these tragedies. Do not get high off of, or addicted to taking stool softener. You may start experiencing symptoms such as Charlie and go crazy..... SAVE YOURSELVES WHILE YOU CAN!*******************
A/N: Well, I hope you liked, no, loved the finish of TC! It's over now, but in the end, it doesn't even matter....and for those of you who may not know what stool softener is, here's Google's definition:
Stool softeners are used on a short-term basis to relieve constipation by people who should avoid straining during bowel movements because of heart conditions, hemorrhoids, and other problems. They soften stools, making them easier to pass.
Yes, that means it makes your poop soft and easy to pass! THG Conversations will be coming out soon! I love you all and thanks so much for the comments and votes-they mean the world! I love you!
xox,
~mysterydude
YOU ARE READING
Twilight Conversations
FanfictionA funny fanfiction that has fake conversations between the Twilight saga characters. The name and idea go to TheHalfBloodPrincess off of her Harry Potter Conversations. I don't own the Twilight saga. Stephanie Meyer does. If I owned it, Jake would e...
