I'll Be: Sequel to Briles

Chapter Sixteen

Miles hasn't been back since we broke it off. I never realized how empty an apartment could be when you're the only one in it. I see the ghost of him around every corner. I feel his touch in the darkness of night. He is here even when he's not. He is haunting me in the  worst of ways.

The media hasn't given me a break either. I haven't left the apartment. For classes I've been emailing my teachers. It's been ridiculous, paparazzi has been around every corner. I have to shut my windows tight to avoid attention.

I can't turn on the TV without hearing the news of my own breakup all over again. I can't listen to the radio, or go online, or talk to my friends. The last two weeks has been filled with me sitting on the couch questioning life. That is, until I hear a knock on the door. 

At first, I thought it was the paparazzi. I rolled over on the couch and glared at the ceiling. Then there was another knock, and another, and another. It was relentless. I grudgingly pushed myself off the couch. I fastened my black silk robe and looked through the peephole. 

Standing on my front doorstep is the man I once called a friend. I look around him, no paparazzi, I unlock all of the locks on my front door and let him in. I close the door behind him and turn around, walking back to the couch and sinking back into my depressing hole. 

"You look like hell." He laughs, staring at his feet. I laugh as well, glad that someone for once doesn't give me their pity. "So listen, I brought you your class work. You've missed a lot, but I think if you buckle down and get it done you can still finish in time to graduate." 

"What's the point?" I ask. "What's a degree going to do for me? It's not like I can leave, not with them following me everywhere." We both look at the window. 

"Don't say that." Zack says. "You're so close to finishing this. Don't just give up."

"What's the point Zack?" I ask throwing the curtains aside to show the crowd of people several stories below. "They follow me everywhere. I can't leave my own apartment. I can't even open my own damn windows without them taking pictures. I have to have my groceries delivered." I  turn away and sit on the couch.  

"Look," Zack closes the curtains and sits on the couch beside me. "It sucks, you were given a bad hand. That doesn't mean you give up though. You are one of the smartest, kindest, bravest people I know. Hell you might just be the numero uno. You beat cancer. Against all odds you beat it. If you can do that than you can do this. The past six years of your life has been working on this. Are you really going to give up now?"

"You don't get it Zack. I always had someone to lean on. I had books, friends, Miles. Now I'm alone." Zack scoots closer to me on the couch. He rests his hand over mine.

"You have me," He looks in my eyes. No one has looked at me like this since before Miles and I started fighting, and it feels kind of good, someone wanting me again. "and I won't leave. I promise." I don't know for sure why I did it. Maybe it was the heat of the moment. Maybe it was the idea that I could be loved again. For whatever reason I leaned in and I kissed him. 

He was cold, and rough, and passionate. His course hands caress my face as I scoot closer to him. I don't remember last time, but if it was anything like this I can see why I fell for him. He's nothing like Miles, but right now I'm pretty happy about that. It's refreshing. I climb onto his lap and move my right hand up and down his chest, my left clenched in his hair. He kisses up and down my neck. There's no mercy and I don't want it. He frees me.