Let's Not Regret | Levi x Reader

Chapter 12

I'm nervous. The feeling of being alone should be normal by now. I wish my sisters were here. We would all be training hard to help mom out.

Fucking Kenny.

- What's your name? -Someone asked.

- _______. -I say when I finished eating what I had in my mouth.- What's yours?

- Reiner. -He said and sat next to me.- Hope you don't mind.

- It's alright.

- What are you going to join? -He asked me.

- The survey corps. -I said while taking a spoon of food into my mouth.

- Oh really. What's the reason? -He asked surprised.

- I don't really have someone to protect. Personally. So...

- It's like a way to comit suicide? -He said with no bad reaction.

- Yeah. -I simply answered, amazed of how he had read my thoughts.

- Well, it's your life. -He said and I felt nothing.- But you deserve to live. You're totally worth living for. -He then said and I felt my whole body tense because of how nervous I got.

- Wha-at do you mean?

- I may sound like a stalker. But I've been watching you from afar. -He said and my heart started beating fast.- I think you're b-beautiful.

I couldn't answer. I immediately thought of my image. My hair must be a mess, my eyes must have bags under them and I may have some pimples on my face. My body (in my opinion) is nothing like other girls that have that beautiful curve and some even have abs by now.

- Why would you think that? -I asked out loud.

- Because you are. -He said after swallowing.

I still couldn't understand, so I just stayed silent. After dinner I layed on my bed. My whole suicide and hate thoughts, they just... Suddenly disappeared.

The next day we were all training. There were these weird comrades that were yelling at each other. The instructor immediately stood between them.

- Boo. -Someone said behind me and my first reaction was to turn and hit whoever it was on the face, but my fist was stopped by that same person.- Calm down girl.

- I'm sorry. -I said feeling dumb because it was Reiner.- I just reacted.

- It's ok. You can't hit me anyway. -He teased me.

- What?! -I asked, not believing what he just said.- I could easily take you down.

- Yeah, sure. -He said sarcastically.

And so I try and do so. I took his arms and pulled him, trying to take him down. But he's to big and he seemed like a stiff wall.

- Are you done yet? -He asked and I let go of him.- You have to do it like this. -He said then made me fall, but as he hold my hand, I didn't touch the dirty ground.- See?

- Y-yeah. -I say with a stutter.

- I can help you if you like. -He offered when he pulled me back up.

- Please do. -I said, thinking that if I don't get better, I'll fail the exam.

And we made a friendship. Days passed and I met his friend Bertholdt. He's nice, and kind of awkward at times, but I liked him. And we meet some more comrades, and we all blended in well.

- And that's my story. -Eren said.- And that's why I'll kill them all.

We all looked at each other. It was more like a suicide attempt. And that memory then hit me. My mother, father and sisters were dead, and that's why I want to enter the survey corps, so I can die. I'm a coward because I need a titan to do that for me, I suddenly thought. But if I'm so happy with these guys, I don't need to die. I can protect them instead.