Entanglement

end

Phil POV

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There seemed to be only one answer to my problems. It was obvious, and yet I questioned it.

Was it practical to allow myself to edge closer towards insanity, to lose all of the morals I had, to forget who I was due to pain and hurt someone in the process? Maybe to others. Maybe to someone who didn't understand the whole terrible truth about what would occur.

"Tyler," I began slowly after a few moments of silence, as I tried to let what I was thinking set into my own head. "You need to end it before it begins." I paused and inhaled deeply, a shaky breath following. "I need you to kill me."

The demon didn't seem to understand what I was asking of him. He furrowed his eyebrows, frowning deeply as if he didn't believe the words he had just heard. I barely could, either.

"That's a joke, right?" He replied. "There's no way you could even be considering-"

I interrupted him harshly. "How could I not? You think it's safe to let me hit fifty fifty, to possibly hurt or kill someone just like Dan did? It's too risky. Especially with the war-"

"The war is over," He stated, his voice lacking emotion. "Our councils decided that an angel dying is too much of a risky event to continue such battles. Korey and I decided we can work on keeping you safe now, finding out more about fifty fifty, figuring out what exactly it means."

I shook my head roughly. "How would you prevent it? It's a slow burn down from here. I'm broken, devastated, and the reason that I am just makes me angry, too. The angrier I am, the more likely it is that I'll hit the middle. What are you going to do? Lock me somewhere until I fade away?"

Tyler swallowed roughly, his eyes nearing sad. "We would have to, until we figured something-"

"I would rather die," I berated. "I would rather do anything than rot in the darkness in agony."

"I can't help you," He replied, his voice low and clearly upset. "I can't do anything."

"Then leave me," I told him, "Leave me alone and come back later. We can figure it out more later. I need to think and deal with everything you told me, please, just- please. Go."

Instead of replying, he complied, which surprised me. Tyler stood and walked out, leaving me alone in the room once more, lighter now due to the nearly fully risen sun.

There were too many thoughts rushing through my mind. Even with all of the fear of myself flying through me, I was still stuck on the fact that Dan was supposed to be an angel. It wasn't wrong that I loved him. We were supposed to have a happy life in Heaven and relive together. And yet everything that seemed to be something that was supposed to happen hadn't and wouldn't.

I had no will to be here anyway. With Dan gone, and now the knowledge of my impending doom finding me, there was no good reason to continue doing what I was doing- which was living.

I had to stop wallowing and I had to end this before it got out of hand. I had seen what Dan, an amazing soul, had done when he'd reached the middle, and I couldn't stand the idea of me hurting someone I cared about or putting them in danger due to the same thing.

Tyler would return. He would come back, with Korey most likely, and they would take me away. Lock me up in the basements of Heaven's offices. Look for a solution, and then take too long, and let me suffer in pain until I died. There was no other thing for them to do, so I couldn't blame them, yet I knew that I had to avoid it. I had to stop myself from allowing them to do it.

Slowly, I stood up. I pushed back all of my emotions, forcing the anguish I felt down my throat, violently wiping my hands across my eyes in hopes of making it look less like I had been crying. I squared my shoulders, set my lips into a straight line, and I moved my legs. One foot after another, even if I felt like I hadn't moved in years. I was stiff and full of negatives, sadness and fear, the weight of my emotions pulling me down with each step.