Toilets & A Fake Girlfriend (girlxgirl)

Chapter 3: Ugly Little Liar

It's lunchtime and I am sitting with Rachel at the school cafeteria. Stealing glances at her make me jittery. Well, I think it's kind of cute, but to her, it's probably... nevermind.

She's so cute when she's eating. I barely even touched my food. I look at her and she is so adorable. Her face is like the face of an angel. She doesn't wear a lot of makeup. Her eyes are so beautiful and I realize, they're hazel, just like mine. We are so meant to be. Her eyebrows are shaped like sperms cells. Yep, they do.

Her nose... her nose is even prettier than my entire face.

Her smile is extraordinary. I love her teeth, perfectly arranged white teeth. She probably had them braced or fixed. Her lips are so pink and I am pretty sure she hasn't put lipstick on them. They are so seductive and they look so natural. I wonder if I kissed them, they'd be soft.

She has that tiny butt chin, which I think is so adorable. Her fingernails, they're so neat, I bet she used transparent nail varnish on them. I like girls with clean nails. She has chubby fingers, too, it's cute. Her hair! Yes, her brown hair falls down to her lower chest and it's even more luscious than my frizzy bangs.

I'll probably just eat my food.

Or talk to her. But she's reading this old magazine (with this Give-Your-Heart-A-Break-Singer as the cover page) while eating her food. She probably doesn't like to be disturbed. But I'll talk to her.

"What are you reading?" Oh, what a stupid question. It's obvious she's reading a magazine. "I mean, what article are you reading?" I correct myself.

"It's not exactly an article," she shows me the page she was on. The page appeared to have a picture of a pretty woman around her twenties, also a phone and another picture of four women standing, a camera, a shoe and a book, The Great Gatsby, I read it before and watched the movie too, by the way. "It's a feature of Shay Mitchell's lifestyle and a book she's read and her playlist and her show, Pretty Little Liars, and her shoes."

Who the heck is Shay Mitchell?

"This woman," she points Shay Mitchell, "is my idol. She is so perfect. Her hair is the best. Her eyes are beautiful and she's my everything!" She tells me excitedly... fangirling, in short.

Are you thinking what I am thinking?

No.

Her idol is a woman. She probably has a crush on that Shay Mitchell!

No, she doesn't have a crush on Shay Mitchell. She's just... like me. I'm gay, but I like John Mayer.

SHE. IS. NOT. GAY. Let's face reality.

I start studying the page. Hmmm, so, Shay Mitchell is on Pretty Little Liars, I heard of the show, it's on ABC, I don't really watch it. I only watch channels that make my cable subscription appear to have significance.

"I know, right? She's totally awesome." Wait what? You don't know that woman 'til now. I pretend I knew Shay Mitchell to impress Rachel. "Her hair is the best!"

"Oh, my god! You know her?"

Oh, crap. I never had actual conversations with real teenagers before. Rachel's the first one actually.

"Yes! OMG! She's on P-L-L, duh," ew, I hate myself. But Rachel seems to enjoy talking to me.

"OMG have you seen that ep when..." Rachel talks so fast. I don't even know what she's talking about. Oh, crap.

I have to watch Pretty Little Liars, like RIGHT NOW! I can't handle this. She has to enjoy talking to me or she'll find other people to talk to. But I don't know what to say to her since I haven't even watched an episode of that show before.