moonlight : luke

asthma

1:19 AM

"fuck you!" i scream to the ocean. the three boys accompanied me to the farthest side of the beach, where there's not much people. luke has disappeared with jane.

they are all watching me as i lose my shit.

"this is shit! luke is shit! jane is shit! this whole fucking roadtrip is shit!" i scream again. i can't hear anything from the boys, but they have a bottle of water with them in case my throat starts to hurt.

"you hurt me so fucking much! you fucking asshole!"

i grab a handful of pebbles, "i hope this hits you!" i shout as i throw the whole handful into the ocean.

"i wish someone would hurt you the same fucking way you're hurting me!" i say, but my screams seem to be getting softer.

"i wish someone would make you cry as much as you make me cry!" i'm crying. my voice breaks as i shout.

"i wish," i gulp, "i wish your heart would ache more than mine."

i collapse on the sand, and cry.

"but those things won't happen," i say in barely a whisper, "so i'll hurt, cry, and ache for you instead."

i start to have a hard time breathing. fucking asthma.

"w-w-water." i say, and the boys immediately come rushing to me, a water bottle without the cap on in ashton's hand.

i drink half of it, then i cry again.

"what's wrong with me?" i say, asking no one in particular.

"nothing's wrong with you, ky," ashton speaks up, "it's luke's loss for not seeing the goodness you hold."

"i've been here for so long, i've kept him in my heart for so long," i pause to exhale, "i guess it's fate's way of telling me that i'll never be the one he'll love."

they stay silent, probably not knowing what to say.

"there are so much things i want to do for him," a tear drops down my cheek, "i'd wipe sweat off his back and forehead after gigs. i'd learn how to cook for him even though all i know how to cook are eggs and instant noodles."

"i'd paint his face, even though i'm not very good at painting. i'd sing for him everyday, even though it'll be out of key. i'd adopt a zillion dogs just to keep him happy," i sigh, "so much things i want to do, but i probably never will."

i hear sniffling, only to realize that michael is crying.

"i'm sorry, i didn't mean to ruin the moment," he chuckles, "but there's so much love in there." he points to my heart.

"but nowhere to put it." i say silently.

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voOOTe and comment where tf is luke

- au