Off to Neverland

Off to Neverland (36)

I actually thought that I was going to marry Jack. By the time we’d get out of high school, we would have been together long enough for us to get married right after we graduated. But now… I had no idea what was going to happen between us. It wasn’t like I could just avoid him. He still thought that we were dating.

But that was a question that I had for myself. Was I still dating Jack? I didn’t even know. We hadn’t formally broken up or anything, but he went and told another girl that he loved her… I should have broken up with him for that, right? It would have been the smart thing to do…

But obviously, I wasn’t very smart when it came to boys.

My intellect was what had gotten me into this mess in the first place. If I wasn’t as smart as I was, I wouldn’t have been accepted into Neverland Academy and I never would have met Jack. I’d probably be in some military school right then, still single with no boyfriend whatsoever. Boy, did that sound great to me right then…

I hadn’t stopped crying. I couldn’t stop crying. I didn’t think that I would ever be able to stop, no matter how hard I tried. Since I didn’t have a room of my own anymore, I had to silently cry as I laid on the couch on my stomach. All the lights were off, but the TV was on but muted. I was staring out into the darkness of the room, wishing that I could have gone back in time.

I couldn’t believe him. I couldn’t believe that he actually did this to me. He said that he loved me; he said that he loved me more than anyone. He even said that he didn’t love Emma in that way at all. What had happened to that? Had he just been lying to me the entire time?

I was thankful that it was the weekend. I wasn’t going to have to deal with Jack for a few days. I would have time to think about what I was going to do,

I had taken a shower and had changed out of my muddy clothes. I hadn’t woken up Claudia or my dad, but I was glad for that because I didn’t want them to see me crying. I didn’t want them to know how I had been betrayed.

Jack was the love of my life. I loved him more than anything, and I thought that he had felt the same way. But he didn’t. He loved Emma more than anyone else on the entire planet.

I pushed my face into a couch cushion as I continued to cry. I remembered everything that Jack and I had been through, and how he had told me that he loved me and not Emma when we were in the hotel room at Disneyland. He had been lying to me…

What we had done after he had told me that made me cringe. I shouldn’t have ever let him touch me. I should have never slept with him at all. I wanted to only sleep with the guy that I was going to spend the rest of my life with, and I had really thought that that person had been Jack…

But I didn’t even know if that was right anymore. I didn’t know if I was going to end up marrying him like I had wanted to for so long.

He thought he could use me to get over her. That was probably what hurt me the most. Had he been using me the entire time that we were together? The entire time that I had known him? That must have been why he was such a player. He was using girls to try to forget Emma.

And I was one of them.

But I was different from those other girls, because he had actually told me that he loved me. I couldn’t help but wonder if he ever really meant it whenever he had said that to me.

I remembered how I had fallen on him during one of the rehearsals, and all because of the long dress that I was being forced to wear. I could remember what he had said to me so clearly.

“Why, hello. I’m guessing you’re here to help me get over Belle.”

And I was guessing that that was really all I ever was to him.