Chapter 6: Shinigami

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“Your pretty empire took so long to build, now, with a snap of history's fingers, down it goes.”

― Alan Moore, V for Vendetta

The lights sped past me but I cared not. The horns blared in the distance but I paid them no heed. My mind was numb and my heart was in turmoil. I raced to go back to the one place where I might find comfort and solace. The place that started it all. The spot where I had fallen to my death on Esplanade Avenue.

I wept, running as fast my legs would carry me. I didn’t know who to trust anymore. I had left the party after Death had told me his story. I didn’t want to hear anymore. New Orleans was a blur now, a flickering series of endlessly shimmering lights and colors in my peripheral vision. I didn’t care if anyone saw me as I hurtled past, leaping from building to building, crossing obstacles with the ease of a parkour expert, but moving far quicker than any human could possibly move.

Instinct. Details.

Just focus on the details, Vanessa.

The pavement hissed in the heat of summer. Lake Pontchartrain was behind me and the soft breeze that blew from the lake calmed me down. I felt droplets on my skin as rain gently and mercifully fell around me. It was a summer rain, a calming presence; it gradually increased its tempo until it became a torrential downpour that washed away everything but my sadness. If anything else, I felt the loneliness mounting; the rain did little to ease my pain, but at least it hid my tears.

The empire that Donnie Hunter built had begun to unravel. Was it my sin all along? Was it my father’s? When a man rises to great heights, does his offspring have to pay for his sins? The rain dripped from the buildings, the sweet pitter patter song of gentle raindrops echoed around me. My senses had been heightened, I smelled the water everywhere.

Yes, just focus on the details.

I willed my mind to be a blank slate. There were cars in the distance. A large highway. The lights shone from afar, a diffuse glow that stood out like rainbows against the backdrop of New Orleans.

Darkness and Light. The city itself was an enigma, an irreconcilable blend of the past and the present; a city where time was in conflict with itself. I decided to steer clear of the highway with its mechanical vehicles, like tiny matchbox cars in a child’s playroom. Toys encased in light and bounded by the rain. The rain brought out strong emotions in me.

Daniel.

I began to whimper to myself as I ran even faster. My shoulders were shaking as I forced myself to stop thinking. Vanessa would not play the victim no matter how difficult the consequences. I wouldn’t let myself be weak, but my mind kept coming back to many things. Alsace. Lake Michigan. Daniel’s warm embrace. A kiss under the cover of night; Daniel’s voice in my ear, whispering sweet nothings.

No, don’t think. It hurts far too much to think. Just focus on the details.

The lights of the traffic and the highways were almost beautiful. They seemed so distant, like the next day. I wanted the night to last forever. It was the only comfort I would have. When the sun rose, I would have to face the day and there would be nowhere to hide. But the gentle rain had begun to sing it’s sweet crescendo now, the water caressing my skin, flowing throughout my very being. My clothes were soaking wet and I was running barefoot through the French Quarter. My body felt no pain. Only my mind; only my heart.

I spied St. Louis Cathedral in the distance with its towering spires. Perhaps there would be some comfort in stopping by to see God. I was never religious. I was raised Catholic, but I wasn’t even a Sunday Catholic. I couldn’t remember the last time I was in Church. I remember being there for Dad’s funeral though. A church to me was an empty place filled with darkness and candles, their tiny flickering lights standing up in defiance to the solitude. Supposedly, Man found it easier to hear God’s voice in solitude. If that was true, I would be so much closer to God right now. But I was beyond God’s benevolence now. I could no longer be saved.

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