Fix Me

Chapter 4

Chapter 4

~Cameron's P.O.V~

I can't believe I'm actually doing this. I never let anyone in, not since what happened, and yet, here I am inviting a total stranger to live with me.

Am I crazy? Yes.

Is this a bad idea? Probably.

Why do I even care? I have no idea.

It's just, there's something about her that's so alluring, captivating, intoxicating. Yet I can also tell that she's going to bring me lots of trouble.

Why am I doing this?

To be honest. I just feel as though we have more in common than it seems. I can also tell that this attitude she puts up is just an act.

Now I just need to find out what she's hiding from.

She hasn't said anything for a while now and I'm starting to think I scared her off.

"Jade? So, what do you say"

"Yes"

I'm not sure I heard her right so I ask, "yes?"

Smiling she repeats, "yes".

~Jade's P.O.V~

Why did I just say yes? Oh god I barley know this boy yet here I am agreeing to stay with him.

This is what 11 years if abuse will do to you. It'll make you do idiotic things.

We'll can't turn back now.

***

Blood. It's all I see.

Pain. It's all I feel.

Except, I don't want it to stop. It feels good. Like all my emotional pain is suddenly not as important as this scar I caused myself.

I don't know what compelled me. I don't know why I brought that razor to my skin and just cut deeply. Maybe it was the fact that someone showed true caring towards me and I'm not ready. Maybe I just can't let go of all the pain. Maybe it's because I deserve to be unhappy.

If you guessed the last option, you're right. I don't deserve to have someone care about me. I deserve all the pain that's been brought upon me. I'm not good enough for anything or anyone.

* Your dad's right you know, you're the reason your moms dead. You killed her!*

That's all I hear. That's what happens when I stand in front of a mirror.

* You little bitch. You ugly whore. No ones ever gonna love you let alone like you. You deserve to die*

Hearing that I can't help but feel that it's true. All this self hate, I can't take it.

So there in some (kinda) random strangers washroom, I brought the razor down to my wrist and glided it through my flesh. Weird how the things that hurt also make you feel better.

When I felt better, at least for now, I washed my arm and cleaned away all the blood. Wrapping my arm around with a gauze and putting on a sweater I went out of my "room" to meet Cameron in the living room.

"Hey" he said when I got there. "You ok? You've been up there for a while now"

"Yeah, just getting settled". I lied

He didn't really seem to believe me but he did let it go.

Suddenly he stood up.

"Come on we're going shopping"

Ok now I was confused.

"Excuse me?"

"You don't have anything with you and I'm pretty sure you don't want to wear my clothes all day"

"Really it's ok"

"Come on, it'll be fun..."

Damn this guy us persistent. Finally giving in...

"Ok" I said.

Now he was confused.

"Ok?"

"Yeah that's what I said"

"Well I just thought you'd put up more of an argument"

After thinking about that for a while (I know I'm amazing at conversation right?)

We eventually left.

***

The car ride there wasn't as awkward as I initially thought it'd be. Well at first, yes but once you're in traffic with someone for 30 minutes and you have nothing to keep you from being bored out if your mind, talking to people can help. It helped that the radio was on so whenever we didn't have anything to say to each other, we just listened to the music.

"You've got to be kidding me!" he said. " White Snake is so much better than Green Day"

"Well than you're insane"

He plugged in his iPod and now we're listening to his playlist which, actually, isn't that bad. He has a really good taste in music. Right now we're arguing over the best bands.

"Ok, ok how about...My Chemical Romance or Every Avenue?"

Looking at each other we both gave the same answer.

"Every Avenue"

Laughing I thought

* Maybe living with this guy won't be as bad as I thought*