Secrets : An URBAN Story

Mutual Feelings

CHAPTER 7

BACK TO BLAYKE

I pulled into my driveway, jumped out the car & ran inside. I went into my room and shut the door. I didn't spend the night with Trey, I spent the night with Caine. We hadn't had sex.. Not even a kiss. But I still felt as if I betrayed Kendal and even more.. Ariana. Kendal had his fair share of fuck ups.. But I vowed that I'd always be loyal to him. I wasn't thinking. I was angry and I wanted attention, I didn't mean to hurt him. I began to cry when I read his text...

Kendal : I'm done with you.

Me : I take alotta shxt from you. and i fuck up Once.. Now you done with me ?

Kendal : You not loyal Ma, it's over with.

Me : I didn't fuck him, I didn't even put my lips on him. But OK! I won't beg you.

Kendal : Beg that Riverside nigga then.

Me : I don't have to beg him! Go let him teach you some things.

I began to get angry rather than sad.

Kendal : fuck you. Lose my number.

I read over the text & began to drown in my thoughts. I began to think about Ariana. She couldn't know, it'd hurt her to know that I had shared the night with Caine. My mind wandered. I felt something last night, as I sat on his bed & talked my problems through with him. I had his undivided attention, he listened, he cared.. They way he looked at me as I spoke, did something to me. He was just what I needed at that point in my life. He listened, & he didn't speak with his mouth.. He spoke with his hands. The way he hugged me and cuddled me all night was amazing. Not only did I have Ariana and Kendal to worry about.. But I stood Trey up. I found myself on Instagram scrolling down my newsfeed. A picture of Caine & Hana caught my eye which made me feel some type of way. There is no way I could be catching feelings for this boy.. This boy who had been messing around with my best friend.. This boy who had a girlfriend. I was filled with confusion. I closed the Instagram app as I sat on my room floor. It was going on 1 o clock &' I hadn't heard from Caine.. I wanted to see where his mind was but refused to text him first. When I left his home, he was still asleep. I locked my phone & laid down. My ringer went off from a text, I picked my phone up quickly expecting Caine ... I sighed, It was Devyn.

Devyn : Well !?!?! How was your night with Trey ?

I ignored her text.. I just couldn't talk about it right now.

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I was awaken by my mother opening my room door. " You Alive Ma ? " , she said Laughing. " Yes Silly " I said as I got up. " You want McDonalds? " she asked. " No I'm good ", I said . She said " Okae " as she walked off leaving the door open. Night had fell and I realized I had slept all day. I flipped my phone over. Devyn had blew me up.. Wanting to know what happened last night so badly. In the mist of all her missed calls & text , I found a text from Caine.

Caine : Yo ?

Me : wassup ?

Caine : Took long enough! What you up to ?

Me : I just woke up Gay face. Wby ?

Caine : I was just thinking about last night.

Me : I appreciate you being there for me.

Caine : I gotchu.

And strangely, when he said that.. I believed him. I felt him becoming that person that I'd run to for everything, I felt myself getting attached.. Because he was everything I ever wanted. Over the time we had been texting.. I grew on him, I just didn't know where this would take me.

Me : I believe you.. Don't change on me.

Caine : It's not happening..

This boy definitely did something to me.

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I laid in the bed blasting Ghetto - August Alsina ft. Rich Homie Quan.

She G H E T T O, My la buddy.. My la hoe.

Been fucking with her since I was in high school, She held my heart & secrets too.

She was born & raised in the projects.. Never listen to what other guys said, she been going through shxt , I could tell ... Because her eyes red.

Her heart hurt it been beat on....

I was enjoying my night alone. Not stressing about where Kendal was or what Kendal was doing. I was at peace. I picked up my school bag about to do some studying , when my phone rang from a notification. It was a snap chat from Caine. I blushed at the sight of his name. I opened his snap chat. It was him, with his lips puckered and it read " I'm missing on you." I realized why I began to get so attached to him. He gave me something Kendal never did.. Attention, Time, He made me laugh. We had established that we were going to the same city after high school to attend college. Would he forever be my friend ? Or Would he grow into something more than a friend ? These are questions I didn't have the answer to & I wanted to ask him so badly, but didn't want his answer to alter our relationship. We were cool, like the other side of the pillow. The rest of the night , I continued to snap chat Caine. He kept me humble.. There are so many reasons to why I fucked with him, at this point .. I wasn't thinking about nobody else but myself. Was I selfish for this ?