Dimitri's Point of View in Shadow Kiss (Vampire Academy) (Book 3)

Part 16

Chapter 16:

Rose and I walked in silence through the white halls, our feet echoed softly against the bleached tiles. Hers was shortly paused and slightly heavy compared to my skilled light step and longer stride. By the time we reached Guardian Entin my hands were shaking. I pressed them against my thighs as we neared the guard at the end of the prison, but it didn’t help the internal earthquake occurring in me.

“Thank you.” I said to Entin in Russian.

He nodded and welcomed me. He looked down at my mid-section, and I got the impression he was looking at my still shaking hands. He raised an eyebrow and opened his mouth to ask what was wrong but I shook my head, slightly enough so Rose wouldn’t catch it. I didn’t need her knowing that our encounter with Victor had really taken its toll on me.

I needed to be strong for her.

He furrowed his brow and nodded again. I guided Rose out of the prison, but not before Entin could shout: “good luck!” In Russian.

My heart nearly stopped at his words when we walked into the chilly air. Did he hear our conversation with Victor? Or had my secret with Rose gotten out? Just the very thought of Alberta, or heaven forbid: the Queen, finding out was enough to make that internal earthquake within me burst out. And no matter how hard I tried to contain it, it never got any better.

As we walked across a wide, beautiful park like space to get back to our rooms I could feel Rose’s eyes on me. I tried to concentrate on something else, like the weather. The sleet had stopped and it had left everything---buildings and trees alike---coated in ice. It was like the world was made of glass.

I couldn’t help comparing it to my near future. It could easily break and I could lose everything I know and love about the guardian world. All my hard work would have been for nothing.

“Are you ok?” Rose’s voice was full of concern, which made me calm down…somewhat.

“Yes.”

“You sure?”

“As okay as I can be.”

“Do you think he’ll tell everyone about us?”

Her words shocked me, that was exactly what I didn’t want to happen, and what had me shaking so badly. If I lost my job protecting Lissa, I don’t know what I’d do. Going back home would be too painful for me to stand. The thought of my grandmother looking up at me with so much disappointment in her eyes would make me cringe. Just thinking about it made me want to sink into the ground and disappear forever.

I sighed. “No.” I couldn’t bring it to myself to tell her the reality of our situation. If things don’t go well in that court room and Victor brings Rose and my love for each other up, we could all be in serious trouble. But mainly me, because if I don’t try and prevent Victor from blurting out our secret Lissa wont’ be guarded as well as she should. She’d have Rose, I’m sure of it. But what about the other guardian? Would he be as good as Rose? Would he share the same over protectiveness I do when being around Lissa? If anything I’d want Eddie to be the second guardian. He’s got potential; I saw it during the field experience. And if he’s that dedicated to his Moroi when every attack he endured was fake, then I didn’t want anyone else.

We walked in silence for a bit. And then I felt Rose’s eyes on me once again, this time I glanced at her from the corner of my eye. “Did you mean it…that if Victor did tell…that you’d…”

I knew what she was getting at. She was still worried about my threat to kill Victor. I had meant it then, and I mean it now when I say that I would have him killed. I’d prefer to kill him myself, to watch him bleed at my feet. To take revenge for the pain he had caused Lissa. My hands began to shake more violently at the thought of someone even trying to torture Lissa.

“I don’t have much influence in the upper levels of Moroi royalty, but I have plenty among the guardians who handle the dirty work in our world.” I also knew that if Victor was still alive, that gave him the opportunity to hurt Rose. And I couldn’t have that, Rose was my girl and I wouldn’t let anything happen to her.

“You didn’t answer my question. If you’d really do it.”

“I’d do a lot of things to protect you, Roza.”

It was then that I noticed the truth behind those words. I would do anything for her. Even if it meant protecting her life with mine. I’d jump in front of anything for her if it meant she’d live. And looking into her eyes now I knew she realized the danger that was in store for us after she graduated. And it was like a slap to the face.

“It wouldn’t exactly be protecting me. It’d be after the fact---cold-blooded. You don’t do that kind of thing. Revenge is more my thing. I’ll have to kill him.”

Just the thought of her trying to protect me was too unbearable to think about. There can only be one martyr in our relationship and I was ready to take that title. Her life was important to me and I want to be the one to make sure she lives it to the fullest. Even if that means dying for her.

But that’s what guardians are. Martyrs, we die for the ones we are sworn to protect and even learn to love. We agree to protect our Moroi in any way we can, even if it means ending our life for theirs.

Art did the same for his Moroi family, and I knew he loved them as if they were blood from the stories he’d tell me and how each child was like his own. He loved them more than he could express.

That was the danger of our job. We become so attached, we start to love our Moroi assignments like family. And it’s what got Art killed in the end. It’s what can get me killed in the end from protecting both Lissa and Rose at the same time.

“Don’t talk like that.” I told her sternly. I didn’t need her taking revenge. If anything did happen to me, I knew she won’t stop searching till the man who killed me was dead. “And anyway, it doesn’t matter. Victor’s not going to say anything.”

I shivered at the sight of Rose going to great lengths to take revenge for whatever did happen to me. She was a great novice, and I knew she was going to be a killer guardian later on in life. And just the idea of her taking her skills too far and end up dying because she loved me made my blood turn cold.

I shook my head, this needed to stop. We needed to find another way to guard Lissa, one so we wouldn’t both end up dead in the end.

After that I left her to go back to my own room. Partly because I needed to rest before Victor’s hearing. But mostly because I had a lot of thinking to do if Rose and I were going to be Lissa’s future guardians.

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I really like this chapter because it shows just how much Dimitri loves Rose. And I decided to add more internal conflict/thinking in this one because I think his fear of Rose becoming revengeful and his own guilty fear of dying and leaving Lissa unprotected will play a huge part at the end of this book(: It took a lot of thinking but I'm VERY happy with this chapter and I hope ya'll are too(: Tell me what you think and thanks for reading! I love you guys!

<3LittleDhampir18