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Chapter 14

Would the words that we dare not speak, roll from our mouths, finally? Or would we keep it locked away once more? I don't know if I could stand it, if we kept it locked away. Regrets are something I can deal with, but that doesn't mean I like them. It doesn't mean that they don't secretly gnaw at me.

I was confused. He was leading the way, to wherever he planned to go. I trailed behind him, just enough to not be super close to him, and not too far behind him. He would look over his shoulder every now and again, making sure I was still following along. I would nod and look away, as his eyes trailed across my face, trying to find something.

I was a little shocked, when we walked straight by the bus stop. Something I hadn't done, since moving into my apartment. My school, Cameron University, was in downtown Boston. A few blocks away from Simmons University. Both schools were rivals when it came to Basketball.

I wondered how Brandon knew where he was going. I've lived here for a while, and even I couldn't walk down the streets with the confidence he did. Maybe it's the small town in me, considering he's from Vegas which is pretty big too. I felt a little panicky putting my trust in him.

“Do you know where you're going, Brando?” I cringed a little, realizing this was the first time I called him by his nickname. Obviously, he's more than likely been called it a thousand times during his life, but for some reason I was still terrified he would be upset. He looked over his shoulder, emotionless as usual. I scoffed, crossing my arms. The nervousness was overwhelming, almost to the point of a panic attack. I took a shallow breath, trying to force oxygen into my lungs. He was tracing my face with his brown eyes once more. He stopped suddenly. My nervousness must have been written all over my face. I tried to get myself to breathe. “Sorry,” I began slowly “I'm just terrified of getting lost.” I ran my fingers through my hair. Despite the fact it was a cool night, I was sweating like crazy. My eyes were getting watery.

Despite the fact it was after eight – maybe even close to nine o' clock – nobody was out walking around. It was a little surprising, but we were still weren't into the downtown area. Not many people walked the streets around downtown. I'm not really sure why, must be a safety thing?

He looked down at his shoes and back up at me. It was just then, that I realized I was in my pajama bottoms. Well, they weren't necessarily pajama bottoms, they were just a pair of sweats I wore to bed every now and again. A plain gray pair of sweatpants with Pink written on the side. I flushed a little. It might have been dark and people may have not been around, but it doesn't matter. I was still embarrassed.

His lips threatened to curl into a smile. “I'm from Vegas, I'm used to-”

“I don't care about your fucking hometown pride! Okay?!” I shouted. Cars whizzed by us on the road. I was gasping, trying to breathe. A wave of anxiety rushed over me and I was having a full blown panic attack. I was beginning to hyperventilate. Fuck.

He walked closer to me. “Relax.” He reassured. I shook my head, holding my hand to my chest. Stupid anxiety, making me freak out over something as stupid, as taking a walk. Weren't walks supposed to calm people down?

“How can I?! I'm going to die!” I croaked, allowing my eyes to water even more, causing the lights that illuminated off the street lights, buildings, and cars to bokeh. I closed my eyes and tilted my head back. I took a deep breath and paid attention to the way my lungs expanded as the air, traveled down its path. I listened to the cars that drove by.

“Relax.” He repeated. I opened my eyes a little, just enough to peek at him a bit. He was staring right at me, with his usual expression. I closed my eyes, blocking his presence away from me. It really hit me then, Brandon was the first in a long time, to see me have a panic attack. My body tensed even more, but I continued to breathe.