The Fall of Arcadia (Book ONE)

Chapter 7

Alice:

When I woke up, I wasn't sure where I was. All I could see was black and then the noises came. Terrifying screams from every direction and thuds as bodies hit the ground. I was back on Gallifrey. I primed my gun an ran towards the source of the panic, the place where the dead lay unburied and unnamed.

I shot the Daleks on sight, not caring if I shot my own in the process. We started this war, maybe we didn't deserve to survive it. The my daughters came into view. Starfall, her silver hair and black eyes blazing as she looked at me in disgust. Jenny, her blonde and red hair with mismatched green and blue eyes tearful. I didn't save her, I knew what was going to happen and I let her die in my arms.

"He doesn't love you, not after you let me die. You're the girl he used to love before you lost yourself in the dead, and didn't care." she snarled at me, suddenly right next to me.

Starfall started now, her words more toxic than her sisters. "What kind of hippo crate saves her daughter from a bullet and then lets her other one die from it. You knew what was happening to her, you could have saved her as you saved me"

"I didn't... I tried!" I sobbed, words getting caught in my throat.

"No hard enough, we're both dead. Because of you"

Then I realised it wasn't real, the war zone around me was too dark, the detail on my daughters faces not quite sharp enough. And Starfall had died of old age, not a bullet, not like she was going to if I hadn't saved her. I was dreaming, and my dreams usually had a message.

"Where's the Doctor? Where's Koschei?" I demanded, noticing their absence. Star snorted, obviously amused.

"Didn't you know? They left you. They hate you, mother. The Doctor destroyed the planet just to get away from the monster you've become" Jenny taunted, her face waxy and pale, just as I had last seen it as I nearly killed Cobb.

I collapsed onto the ground and tried desperately to wake up, and I think I must have, because the next thing I knew, the Doctor was rocking me gently, his arms tightly around my body.

"You're safe. It's OK, it's only a dream" he whispered into my hair.

"Doctor?" I said in a small voice.

"I'm here, Alice. Want to talk about it?" I nodded, but didn't move out of his grasp. I felt safer in his arms.

"It was Jenny and Starfall. On Gallifrey. They blamed me for their deaths" I whispered, my eyes filling with tears at the thought.

"It wasn't. Don't you ever believe that either of them dying was your fault. Starfall died of old age, 96 years longer than she would have if you hadn't of saved her, and Jenny... Jenny died because she knew she had to. She saw that someone was going to die and realised that it had to be her. But it wasn't your fault" the Doc insisted, making eye contact with me.

"I know, but... She was our daughter, and we just held her as she died"

"And that's all we could have done. Alice, it wasn't your fault, promise me you won't blame yourself"

I took a shaky breath and replied; "I promise. But if my head wants to blame me in nightmares, I kinda can't help that"

He let out a small laugh at that. "Even when you're crying you can't help but make jokes, can you?" I laughed too and tried to get up, but he wouldn't let me. "No, no, no, no, no. Where do you think you're going?"

"Um, bathroom? I hate to think of the bed head I have right now"

"Your hair looks fine and you're under med bay arrest. You got shot, remember?" I frowned, trying to remember the reason I passed out last time. Cobb. Lasers. Bullets. Yeah, I remembered now.