Chapter 15

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My eyes slowly open and adjust to the light in the room. Once my eyes adjust, I see that I'm in a hospital room. My head soon started pounding in great pain.

"Great." I sighed.

I look at my arm to find IV's connected to me. I try to remember what happened before I pasted out, but everything was a blur. About 5 minutes later, a doctor walked in. He saw I was up and gave me a friendly smile.

"You're finally up miss Parks. Please be careful. You've taken a pretty nice far and you might have a concussion. We should be getting the tests back soon."

"How did I get here?" I asked grabbing my head and touching what felt like a big band aid.

He got a chair and brought it next to the bed and sat down next to me.

"You're boyfriend I presume, and his friends brought you over here yesterday afternoon. He said you two were having an argument, and when you went to walk away, you passed out. They said the cause of you passing out could be the lack of nutrients and not eating, which we could see from this document, you have a history of anorexia."

"Oh." Was all I could manage to get out.

Another doctor then walked through the door with a hand full of papers. The doctor sitting next to me walked over to him and they started talking. He then took the papers from the doctor and walked towards me.

"So we got all the test back. You do have a concussion, and you have really low blood pressure that we are actually surprised that you are alive. You are still anemic and anorexic, and you lack a lot of nutrients that are very necessary for you to be healthy. Obviously this isn't the doctors that you go to since you are in Washington, so we are going to have to send you back down to Texas for them to take action and deal with this."

"Where are my friends right now?" I asked. I didn't care about the fact that I almost died. I'm kind of upset that I didn't. I just really need to see Otto right now.

"They are currently performing at their concert right now. They did notify us that they would come back to see you. We are going to keep you over night, but your boyfriend insists on taking you back to Texas and having everything happen over their. We are letting him do that because it would be cheaper to do everything there versus having everything happen over here."

"What exactly is happening to me?"

"Well, you are going to have to go back to the mental hospital because of all the new cuts they found on your thighs. They are also going to assign you a nutritionist and a therapist. They feel like therapy could really help you. I'm really surprised they didn't get you a therapist and nutritionist when this first happened."

"They did assign me one, I just never went to the appointments. They soon just forgot about me and stopped calling for me to come in."

"Well, you can't refuse this time. The next time this happens to you, you won't be as lucky as you are now." He said sternly. "You should go ahead and get some sleep. We will wake you up when your friends come to visit. If you don't feel like sleeping, you can watch some tv." He said while handing me the remote to the tv.

He walked out of the room and gently closed the door.

~~~~~~~~~~~

Hours passed and I heard another knock on the door. This time, a female doctor walked in.

"You're friends are here to see you miss Parks."

Awsten, Geoff, and Otto walked in, and they all looked really tired. They all threw on a smile when they saw me. They walked in and closed the door behind them. It was quiet at first because no one really knew what to say. The last time I saw Otto, we were fighting. Awsten finally said something to finally break the silence.

"Well, the good thing is that you're still alive. That's pretty good."

I smiled and did a small little laugh. I really didn't want to be alive at this point. I have no one except for these three amazing guys, and I constantly hurt them. They all have to deal with everything I go through, and I hate that. They have to do things out of their way just for me. Their tour might even get cancelled because of me. Their lives would be so much better without me.

"I guess that's good." I said, shrugging my shoulders.

It was quiet again, but then Otto finally spoke.

"Tomorrow, you and I are flying back to Texas. I'm pretty sure the doctor told you everything. I'll stay down in Texas with you for a week, and then I have to continue touring. Awsten and Geoff are currently finding a replacement drummer until I get back."

"I'm sorry you guys have to deal with all of this. This is all my fault. You wouldn't have to be going through all of this trouble if I wouldn't have never passed out. You're lives would have probably been way better if I never would have met you guys. Ever since I've met you guys, your life has been hell. You had to deal with me and my problems, and I feel so bad."

"Don't be sorry, and that's not true." Otto began. " meeting you has changed our life's for the better. So many great things have happened since we met you. So many great things have happened to me when I met you. You changed my world jess. I hate seeing you like this and I hate hearing you talk about yourself like that. You are everything to me, and all I want is to help you. All we want to do is help you. We would rather go out of our way to help you, than have you suffer through everything."

Awsten and Geoff both nodded in agreement.

"We really just want you to get better Jessica." Geoff said.

"What if I don't want to get better." I mumbled.

"Wait, don't sa-."

"Sorry but visiting time is over. Everyone needs to leave." The doctor said.

"Wait, please just let me have one more minute." Otto pleaded.

"I'm sorry mr, but the patient needs some rest. You will see her tomorrow morning when you both leave." She said while practically pushing them out the room.

Tears rolled down my eyes as I watched them leave. I've completely given up everything on life. How could I live on knowing I'm hurting my loved ones. I can't go on anymore. I laid back in the very uncomfortable hospital bed and just gazed at the tv. The tv was just a big huge blur of colors because of my tears. Maybe ending everything would make things better.

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