Chapter 26

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Hoping to clear up the bit of confusion from last chapter, if there's still questions lemme know and I'll answer :)

Harry- 

Whether it was waking up against a tree one morning, soaked from rain and shivering, or the fact that I had no recollection of what had happened the night before until I saw her face or even that there's this tune I've found that always brings her to mind but the days have gotten longer and the nights so much shorter. I miss the sweet dreams of her smile and laugh to soothe my aching soul, that stopped the loneliness but now each dream is a nightmare, reliving the same moment she said goodbye over and over. That is- If I sleep. 

Levy has never seemed so utterly disappointed with my lack of motivation. "Fight harder"  he says, don't let it get to you- focus- you'll never win her back with this attitude. I should have listened, because last Friday on my way to train I spotted Cryssy and Liam on the corner of a building a block away from the gym. She was smiling and it made me wonder when was the last time that I had done the same. I was so caught up in thought and sticking my nose out the window just to see her, I ran the red light and nearly caused an accident. Levy was right, I can't focus. There's something completely wrong with me these days and I've always thought if I ever lost someone else I could flick a switch in my brain and not care anymore but no matter how hard I try those feelings are still there like a stab in my chest. 

Maybe it was what we had gone through, and what I had planned. The thought of her engagement ring stranded among tall grass in the meadow across town made me queasy. It wasn't like she'd say yes anyways, it seemed so easy for her to let go.....but the day at our home, I told her I'd never let go and she said she didn't want me to.. Does she mean it?

I feel disgusted with myself. What happened to being heartless? What happened to being strongest? I palmed my eyes  and set the needle on the record before moving away, the same song on repeat for hours. What have I become?

Casey-

I paced the space of the studio back and forth, over and over, my mind riveting with the thought of what all Louis had told me. I was shocked and bitter and anxious all at once, my palms sweat and I was nearly pulling out my hair. The studio was empty but my iPod played softly in the back round on the speakers, it was and All Time Low song I absolutely loved yet with my mind swirling as much as it was i couldn;t even bring myself to enjoy it. 

"What do you mean they broke up?!" It was nearly a squeal of terror, although I only knew the couple, well Cryssy, for a few weeks she had told me much about her love, Harry. I'd seen him once on TV after she had described him too me, it was some special they were doing at the time and they featured Cryssy as part of it. She wasn't interviewed or questioned, but mentioned frequently along the career of Harry. In the end it showed a clip of Harry hitting paparazzi for being rude at the airport to protect Cryssy and I found that heart warming. Although the show was just extra proof all Cryssy had been saying was true. She spoke so fondly of him, telling stories of their time on vacation and the day he said those perfect 3 words. 

"I mean, they split like a fucking banana peel!" Louis quipped. "but they-they can't break up" he spoke, shaking his head repeatedly. Now we both had a bit to drink and this was the first time I had talked to Louis alone so the next thing he told me surprised us both. "They still have their baby" he whispered, but the moment it slipped he slapped a hand over my mouth and glared intensely. "If that gets out, I will hurt you. The baby isn't a certain thing yet alright? Doc's still trying to stabilize his health because his lungs have yet to develop properly." he explained. "So keep quiet yeah?" he urged and I nodded quickly. Louis slowly let his hand slip and sighed, dropping his elbows on the table and resting his head in his hands. "What if the baby gets better? He won't have a family to go to" Lou whispered. 

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