Unexpected Twists (Supernatural Fanfic)

Chapter 13 - So Much More

Wow hi okay, I'm back. Sorry I haven't updated for like a week. I had midterms and stress and writer's block and a wave of depression it was horrible. But I'm back now. 

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The next morning, I wake up in an unfamiliar room. It takes me a few seconds to remember where I am but then, oh yea, I'm in Nebraska, at the Harvelle's Roadhouse, with the Winchesters. AND I KISSED ONE OF THEM LAST NIGHT. I KISSED SAM WINCHESTER.

Sam Winchester actually frigging kissed me, I think I might start hyperventilating. My inner fangirl has made another appearance; I thought I had left my fangirl side in my own world. Obviously not. 

I lay in bed for a few moments, relaxing on my back with my limbs sprawled out and a huge grin on my face. Who would've thought this would happen? Who would've thought that Sam and I would be-

But wait. "Be" what? What are we exactly? Does this mean we're a couple? Or does Sam think this whole thing was a mistake!? What if he regrets kissing me!? Oh no... 

The smile slowly fades from my face as my thoughts begin to swim and my insecurities return. I'm not good enough for Sam Winchester, why did I even think I was? I'm not good enough for anyone! Why would that gorgeous, 6'4", hunk of a hunter want me, the slightly shy, awkward, not-all-that-attractive girl from a lame little town in a different world?

I've struggled with insecurities and a ridiculously low self esteem for basically my entire life. The fact that I'm an orphan never made it any better, in fact it made it worse. People didn't always tease me, but when they did, it was about my lack of parents. Sure, I had a lot of friends, I've been told how pretty I am, people usually like me, but that doesn't mean that I believe them or that I think I deserve their friendship. I don't know why, but I've never felt good enough for anyone or anything. I've always felt that they were pitying me and saying nice things to make me feel better. Maybe that isn't true, but that's what I've lived my life believing. 

Ever since I first came to this world, met the Winchesters, and began this new life, I've felt more confident and, oh I don't know, important, I guess. But sometimes, like right now, those good feelings don't last and all of a sudden I feel worthless again. I really am terrified that Sam feels nothing for me, that it was a pity kiss or something. I guess there's only one way to find out.

I sigh and drag myself out of bed, going through my daily morning routine. I brush my teeth, fix my hair, etc., etc. I don't know what's going to happen when I see Sam. I hope to God that all my fears aren't true. I really like him. More than I ever thought I would and I don't think I would be able to handle his rejection. 

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The smell of pancakes and maple syrup mixes in with the Roadhouse's normal stench of smoke and alcohol as I make my way towards the kitchen to find some breakfast. I wonder who's cooking, it smells amazing.

I get my answer when I enter the kitchen and discover Dean slaving over the stove, a bowl of pancake batter on the counter next to him and an apron tied around his waist. 

"Hey Dean!" I grin at him and gesture to the apron. "You're looking dapper."

"Dapper?" He laughs, throwing his head back. He waggles the spatula in his hand at me and smiles. "Damn straight I look good. Morning Joce." 

"Good morning." I respond, laughing at his comment. 

My eyes travel around the rest of the room and spot Ellen sitting at the table reading a newspaper with a highlighter in one hand. 

"Hey Ellen." I say, catching her attention. 

"Hi Joce! You slept well I hope?" She says smiling at me.