Newborn

Chapter 40: Date Night

Anne Halton

Jess and I are out at a restaurant.  We’ve both been so preoccupied with our own lives that we’ve drifted a bit lately.  Jess actually suggested the date night.  She feels guilty about neglecting me so much for the Darcy Young case.  At the same time, even as we sit here together, her mind is somewhere else.  She’s managed to create a list of individuals who may be the leak in the police department.  They’re almost all colleagues of hers, some are friends, some are acquaintances, and some are people who Jess has trusted with her life.

My mind isn’t entirely here either.  I have been practicing with my powers.  There are dark things in the world.  I need to be strong to fight them.  I need to be strong to protect Jess.  Last night I tried to jump from one building to another.  I landed funny and broke my arm.  It healed pretty quickly, but it hurt.  I’ve been developing the ability to blend into shadows.   I don’t know how I’m doing it, but I find that people are noticing me a lot less now. 

I want to tell Jess about what’s been going on with me, but I don’t know how.  At first, I was just keeping it a secret until I knew more.  Now I don’t tell her because I have been keeping it a secret. I feel like I’ve violated our relationship.  Besides, what could I say?  ‘Hey Jess, just so you know, I’m a demon.  You know, like a monster.  Possibly a slutty demon, but definitely an angry one.’  I don’t know how I could live with Jess thinking about me that way.

“The breadsticks are good,” she says.

I break off a piece of one.  They are pretty good for a bread product.  I’m not sure if they’re worthy of note though.  “Yeah,” I say.

We sit there quietly for a moment.

“How was work?” I ask.

“It was good,” she says.

“That’s good.”

We both sit there silently, unable to think of anything to say.  Why can’t we talk about anything?

I don’t know how to explain it, but there’s this emotion I can feel.  It’s almost like anger, but it isn’t just everyday anger, it’s an anger that people only feel when they’re in need.  It’s an anger filled with fear and desperation.  It’s an anger searching for the might to defeat its aggressor.  The first person I saved, the boy in the photo store, felt it.  He resonated with it.  The woman Algea killed resonated with it too.  I can feel the emotion, it calls to me.  I can feel it now, calling from the distance.  It’s like a little echo.  I don’t know where it’s coming from.  I don’t know how to find it.  I don’t really want to leave Jess either.  I don’t know what to do. 

I reach over and break another piece off of the breadstick in the basket in the middle of the table.

“These really are good,” I say.

“You should just take a whole piece,” Jess says.

“But I’m watching my carbs,” I say.  I don’t know why I say it.  I’m not watching my carbs.  If anything, I need to load up on calories.  I took a small piece because all I wanted was a small piece. 

 “You look good how you are,” Jess says.  “I know you’ve been losing weight lately and you don’t need to.”  She’s probably afraid my breasts will get smaller if I lose any more weight.

“Thanks,” I say, although I’m not sure if it was really a compliment.

Where are the appetizers already?

The psychic scream has become stronger.  I need to go soon.  Even if someone isn’t in trouble, this could be a chance for me to learn.

Jess has let her mind drift back to her list.  I can see her eyes glaze over.  She wants to find out more about Legion to protect me.  I want to become more powerful to protect her.  We are both doing devoting all of our energy into protecting our love and yet we are neglecting the very love we want to protect.

In the future, I’ll think about how we could have been here for each other.  We should have been here for each other.  We should have been honest and told each other everything.  At the very least we should have been happy.  In the future, I’ll wish for one more happy dinner.  This could have been our one more happy dinner.

We sit there together, but we’re so consumed with our worries, we don’t realize that it’s this moment that matters.  This is the moment we should have been happy in.

There are angels who believe that we should strive to find joy in every moment.  They say we shouldn’t worry about the future or the past, just the now because all that exists is the present.  I don’t know if I agree with that idea, but this moment could have meant so much more.

Date nights are strange things.  Couples do them to prevent their relationships from becoming stagnant, but they often become the embodiment of that very stagnation.

Jess’s phone rings and she answers. She talks discretely and then hangs up.

“I’m sorry, but I have to go,” Jess says.

I’m glad for the call because it lets me go out and find the source of the anger that’s calling me.  I probably would have left momentarily anyways. 

“It’s alright,” I say.  It’s not.  “We’ll do this another night.”  We won’t.

This is the last date night Jess and I will ever have.