Until The Very End

Chapter 34

Blake's POV

I was sitting on a chair at the bar in a club with my 8th glass of Vodka. I'm a heavy drinker but I don't get drunk easily.
I was alone without my friends. I needed time for myself. Time to think which I got days ago. Yeah I've been going to parties and clubs for days now, get wasted and flirt with some chicks but I didn't slept with them.

I drank my glass empty and stood up ready to leave. I wobbled a bit as I made my way out. Seems like I overdid it with the alcohol this time. Whatever I won't die with such a minimum in my blood.

I always drive home a bit drunk but not too drunk. I always keep my eyes on the road and drive safely because I don't plan on dying at all.
I opened my black car and sat down on the drivers seat before I started it and drive away from the club. I put down the window to let the fresh air in and fill the car with fresh air. As I drove I thought about some things.

What am I going to do with my life? I don't know anymore. I don't even know for what I live for.

'There is one reason.' a voice suddenly said in my head.

And that reason is...?

Elizabeth.

Hearing her name let my heart sink in guilt. Elizabeth. She was the only one who understood me the best. She knew everything about me and I about her.

Not everything.

Right, she lied the whole fucking time. I thought we were okay now. She came back to me and I was whole again. However, telling me her 'secret' while she was like that already is something I won't accept.
Why didn't she tell me earlier? Didn't she trust me? Or was she planning on disappearing again without a word to me? But this time I won't see her again.

Maybe she had her own reasons.

Still, there won't be a reason not to tell your boyfriend about it!

Maybe she was scared.

Scared? Of what?

Of hurting you and everybody else.

My mind got a point. Damn why can't you be a genius in school too?

I'm your mind and not your teacher. Study on your own.

Wha-Okay I was officially going crazy.

No shit sherlock.

I don't know if I should be mad at her for keeping it from me or be happy that she didn't disappear again without saying anything. I'm between those two and I honestly don't know the answer.

Losing Elizabeth was something I never want to experience again. Having her back with me was something I would like to have everyday. She is my light to the darkness and without her I won't be even here. She is the reason why I changed from my bad boy habits. She is the reason why I'm not drinking, smoking or get involved in fights. She's the reason why I don't date or more like sleep with other girls.
I admit that I love her. She is the only one I need to feel whole. If she is gone; then so am I.

Wow so cliché. Never knew I would act like this towards a girl. Especially towards the one who broke me 10 years ago. Funny though, the same person is the one I love with my whole body and heart.

It's hurts to know that the person I love for the past years now - right I had a crush on her when we were still young - and I only got her back a few months ago and now she is leaving me.

However, what I hate the most was the fact that she was selfish enough to let herself be my girlfriend. She knew all about it and she let me fall in love with her over again and now she is hurting me just like that.