Chapter Thirty Five

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We sat down at the booth for lunch in the Italian sandwich shop that Drew had told me was my old favourite. It did feel familiar as we slid into the red and white leather seats. Drew lifted a pink faced Bea into the high chair at the end of the table. Bea had been up all night unsettled by our sudden change of location. She was a homebody, and she loved and proffered the cooler weather. Clark though was in love with the sun shining, and searched for it at all times. The ride here with Drew had been interesting. Bea broke her heart as soon as she laid eyes on her and had only just stopped crying because of the bread stick Clark had now put in her mouth.

"There you go Bumble Bea" Clark softly cooed as she sat back on the leather seat opposite me. Clark somewhat disappeared behind her menu as her little features searched it for the pancakes she had been begging for. Drew was sat beside her with her head inside her own.

I found myself sat in the busy restaurant searching the surroundings with eager eyes as I tried to remember anything familiar about it. It was as the bell rang and my eyes followed its sweet sound that I came face to face with a memory. I could see Amber walking through the double doors laughing to someone beside her, her fair hair pulled into a messy bun with wisps of caramel and corn coloured strands caressing the soft skin of her cheeks, which were currently lifted into a smile that went to her eyes.

"So, what do you fancy?" Drew asked suddenly.

I licked my lips unconsciously and finally tore my eyes from Amber's vision. Drew looked at my flustered complexion and turned to see where I had been looking.

"Oh hell no" Drew whispered.

"Hell no what? Do they not have my pancakes Miss Drew" Clark asked her as she peeked out from behind her large menu.

"Drew watch what you say with Clark. She has a way of hearing all the bad stuff and then incorporating it into her every other sentence."

Drew dragged her gaze back to me and turned back in her seat. "Sorry, but can you not see who I see?"

I flicked my gaze immediately back to the doorway and realised as my heart began to thump twice as hard that Amber was actually here now. It wasn't a memory at all. She was sat in the window with a girl with short pink hair. She hadn't a clue we were here.

"I see her" I finally replied through a croaky voice.

"Who do you see Momma?" Clark asked as she stood up on the leather seat and peeked over the heads of the people behind her. Clark's fair hair hung out of her blue snap back in a neat pony tail and her navy and white baseball shirt was tucked into pink cotton shorts with white socks and pink glittery sneakers that pushed her up onto her tip toes.

"No one Clarky girl, sit back down please it's rude to stand on the chair" I said desperately ushering Drew to make her sit back down. Drew did as I asked and helped her to sit.

"I need the bathroom Momma" Clark begged.

"I'll take her" Drew offered, climbing out of the booth with Clark on her lap. "If the waitress comes I'll have the meatball sandwich"

"And I'll have the pancakes and bacon Momma" Clark sung, as the disappeared from view into the back.

"Okay, thanks Drew, and okay baby, I wont forget the pancakes" I called after them.

I adjusted Bea in her seat and wiped her hands with a wipe from my bag as they seemed covered in bread stick remnants. As I looked up over Beas dark curls I felt myself freeze as if in time as I felt Amber's eyes on me. The panic rose in my throat as I realised I was not prepared to see her yet. We hadn't even had the conversation I had needed to have with her and this was not the place to have it. She rose from her table leaving the girl with the short pink hair to turn and look my way. Her movements were slow as she approached from the other side of the busy restaurant.

"Sam" She acknowledged, as she stood at the opposite side of our table. Bea looked up to see who was stood beside her and I felt my anxiety rise as I awaited Beas waling. It didn't come however.

"Hi" I managed, as Amber bent down on her knees and introduced herself to Bea with a large and natural smile that showed her perfectly straight white teeth. Bea looked to me for comfort and then back to Amber with a smile I had not seen in twenty four hours. It was a smile that revealed her five new teeth at the front between the pink gummy bits.

"She is just as I imagined" Amber observed warmly as she reached out and softly ran her thumb down Beas forehead. It was covered in a blanket of her dark curls. Amber tucked a couple behind her little pink ear.

"Oh S-...Sam she has your eyes" Amber smiled, after correcting herself from almost saying Syd. She looked to me and then back to Bea with a seemingly awe like expression.

"Yes, the poor little sweetheart is my image I am afraid" I agree, exhaling deeply.

"Nothing bad about that" Amber mused "She is beautiful. You are a little stunner aren't you Bumble Bea" Amber asked her, cooing at Beas grin.

I felt myself straighten up at her name for her, it was our name for her.

"Sorry" Amber said, standing back up and noting my uncomfortable expression "I didn't mean to come and interfere with your lunch. I just saw you and I had to come over. It's not every day I set eyes on you"

"No it's okay. I'm glad that you did. I saw you come in with Rachel" I paused, wondering where that name had come from. Amber didn't seem to hear me, or she didn't pick up on it.

"Well, I hope Drew is helping you out, she said she would. I really hope your trip helps you to learn more about your family. I wish you only the best Sam. Good luck with everything and again I am so sorry for rocking the boat in Paris" She lowered herself once more and said goodbye to Bea before waving and walking back to her table, not even giving me a moment to reply.

The waitress appeared in front of me, blocking my view of her as I ordered our lunch. When she moved away from the table with our menus, Drew and Clark returned, and Amber was gone.

...

"Holy shit Amber! that was her. Oh my god it's so weird to see her like that. She was just sitting in that restaurant like she's a normal fucking person"

Amber put the car into drive and exited the restaurant car park. "She is a normal person Rachel"

"She's not a fucking normal person...she's your fucking wife! I don't know how you are doing this Amber. How are you coping right now?" she asked, turning in her seat and taking a huge bite of her sandwich. The content's immediately spilled out of the sides of it.

Amber looked straight ahead, ignoring Rachel's obvious shock and horror of her recent sighting. She blocked out the questions. If Rachel really wanted to know the answer to her question, it was as simple as this, she wasn't okay. Amber was barely holding on to anything that resembled okay.

"Wait" Amber called out, as Rachel sat up taller in response to the sudden outburst. The breaks on the car skidded them to a stop as Amber pulled into a side street.

"What is it?" Rachel replied with a muffled voice from the food in her mouth.

"She knew your name. I never told her that." Amber spoke breathlessly as her knuckles turned white on the steering wheel.

"So she knew my name...what am I missing?"

"She shouldn't know it! Rachel for fucks sake get on the same page with me here..."

Rachel dropped her sandwich in her lap and covered her mouth when it suddenly sunk in.

"Amber could she be?...could she?"

"I know...my god...she is Rach...she's remembering"

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