love me or leave me • cake

Chapter Fifteen

Calum's POV

"Luke? Baby? Can I talk to you?"

The images and words stung in my mind from last night. The voice was still whispering and telling me things I didn't know.

You'll only make it worse.

"Shut it."

"About what?"  His small voice said from around the corner of my house.

"Uh, it's kinda important stuff. About you."

I could hear his breathing pick up, his hand gripping the wall and his body physically shaking.

See, he doesn't want to admit it.

Should've taken my pills today, damn it.

"Can you look at  me?" 

Luke turned around, looking at me with these blue puppy dog eyes that I couldn't deny.

"Um, c-can we talk about it later? I kinda want to-"

Make him listen.

"No. Not later now."

He swallowed, his hand scratching the back of his neck and looking at the floor.

"I-I'm not sure if I'm comfortable-"

Don't let him talk to you like that.

"I. Said. Now."

Luke shyly nodded his head, not moving, standing in the same place.

"Let's sit down-" I said but he quietly interrupted me.

"What if I don't want to tell you."

Force him to.

Stop it. He doesn't have to if he doesn't want to.

"Actually, you don't have to..."

He sighed.

"But I want to."

I followed him into the living room, the two of us sitting down on the leather couch. Luke rested his chin on the palms of his hands, his elbows resting on his knees.

"You know already, don't you? Emilia probably told you."

See, Calum. He's dysfunctional. You deserve better, someone like Jennifer.

"STOP!" I yelled, grabbing Luke by his collar and lifting him up before realizing what I did.

His eyes were full of terror, his hands up in defense and his feet lifted off the ground.

"C-Calum, please put me down."

I let go of him, his feet landing on the ground. His eyes were widened, and his words were shuddered.

"I'm sorry I-"

Luke grabbed his keys and started towards door, his feet pattering against the wooden floor.

"I should go. I-I uh, bye."

Luke closed the door behind him, leaving me alone in an empty room.

My work here is done.

"THIS IS YOUR FAULT!" I shouted, banging my foot against the leather couch. I fucking knew I should have taken those god damn pills today.

"YOUR STARTING TO SOUND JUST LIKE MY FATHER! YOU DON'T WANT ME WITH LUKE AND YOU KNOW IT."

This is only the start of my work.

"Please, no..." My chocolate eyes started to tear up as I threw my fists against the drywall.

Do you love him?

Does he love you?

My mind started questioning things. Luke and I were falling apart, I didn't feel as close to him as I used to.

My heart was painfully aching for him.

If he really was self harming, or falling deep into depression he would have asked for help by now.

But what do I know, it's his life.

And I want him to let me be part of it.

Maybe, the reason he hates it when people call him a slut is because he was raped.

I couldn't wrap my head around the fact someone hurt and raped Luke, he didn't deserve it.

Who would it be? Why did they do it?

You're doubting your love  for him Calum.

"NO I'M NOT! GET OUT OF MY HEAD!" I threw my fist at the drywall, a hole formed in the wall.

Oh I'm never going to leave. I'm always here.

I sat down by the wall, tipping my head back at looking at the ceiling. Thick tears were free falling as I closed my eyes.

I saw Luke standing there, standing by Sydney Harbour Bridge. He was crying, tears falling and his hands over his eyes as he climbed over the railing.

This is what you do to him, what he wants to do.

The water looked pitch black at night, the moon giving it a light glow.

"P-please don't baby...." I whispered through tears.

Luke's blue eyes shimmered from crying, his shaking hands gripping the metal and placing a foot above the water.

"I-I've always l-loved you C-Calum."
He whispered, closing his eyes as silence fell.

Then he jumped.

His hand placed above his heart, clutching his shirt and his other hand reaching toward the sky.

More tears fell down my face then.

Be careful of what you do Calum.

"Please, j-just go."

Then it left, leaving me to sit in silence.

I suddenly felt insecure, the feeling felt so foreign and strange.

I guess you can't be strong all the time.

A/N

Very shitty chap sorreh.