love me or leave me • cake

Chapter Three

The Next Day

Luke POV

"AYE FAGGOT!" One of Calum's friends yelled to me. I held my books closer to my chest as I turned around, keeping my head down.

"Y-yeah?" I weakly replied back. "Bet your mom regrets giving birth to you; a gay fat faggot." I could here the others laughing as I turned around and started to walk away to go somewhere alone to cry.

My mom probably did regret having me, but she probably doesn't even think about me that much. "Great insult, Michael." Another one of Calum's friends said as he patted his back and laughed. Fuck them and their jokes.

The day went by smoothly after that. I talked to Rena a few times during the day, but she was constantly asking me questions about my family. I made up a lot of the answers, not wanting her to know what really happened and what's currently happening.

When I went home after school, my mom was actually home and surprisingly, she was sober. She hugged me when I went through the door, but I softly declined it. She could be on anything so I didn't take any chances.

"Lukey, are you okay? How have you been?" She asked me with a hand on my back, leading me towards the living room, both of us sitting down on the beige couch.

"I-I'm fine." I answered , her eyes slowly studying me as I talked. I eventually looked into her eyes for once, something I've never seen in depth. "School I-is fine..." She kept staring at me with those eyes that asked a million questions.

"Mum," I said, a few seconds later she replied. "Yes?" I took a deep breath. "I don't like it here..." By the looks of it, she disagreed. "I love it here, why don't you?" I could feel something boil inside me, it was a mix of hatred and love.

"You only because of the alcohol and the men, admit it." I said, letting it slip out of my mouth, I never meant to say it. "LUKE ROBERT HEMMINGS" She practically screamed at me as she stood up. "THAT IS NOT TRUE!" I stood up with her still screaming.

"Then how come you n-never have time for me anymore! You left me alone for a week while you went out clubbing, and you didn't c-care!" After I replied, she stopped screaming. "You said life here would be easier, not harder! It may be easy for you, but not for me! Even the days you were sober, you neglected me! You don't even wish I was here, do you? You think I should have been killed in that car crash with Jack, but I survived when you didn't want me to. The last time you cared a-about me was before dad left and Jack died." I quietly said, her staring at me with love in her eyes. "Luke, why would you say that?" She came and gave me a hug but I rejected it.

"D-don't touch me!" I shouted, running to my room and slamming the oak door. I sat on my bed, bring my legs to my chest and my arms wrapped around my legs, my head resting on my arms.

I was crying again, but this time it was so much worse. Clear tears slid down my cheeks and onto my arms as I choked on my thoughts and words. She never loved me. She never did. I don't care what lies she made up, but I just didn't...........feel her love at all.

I knew I fucked up when the garage door opened. Looking out the window, I saw my moms car Leave and drive away. Maybe I was right about myself.

Now I sit all alone, no one is here comfort me or hold me.

I just needed someone to love me and make me feel alright.

I started to think I really should've died in the car crash with Jack, then dad wouldn't have left, mom wouldn't have become an alcoholic, and Calum wouldn't be rejecting me.

My brother told me that what you desire doesn't lie in the past, it lies in the future.

At least now I can say he's wrong.