love me or leave me • cake

Chapter Two

Calum's POV

The first time I ever saw Luke I had a feeling in my gut that he was different.

Everyone at school know I hate anything to do with gay people and their culture. Every. Single. Thing.

Luke was the only one that appealed o me when he came.

Luke was quite cute actually. He had bright cerulean eyes that fit perfectly with the big black glasses that fit right on the bridge of his nose along with a set of braces with black bands on them. He always wore these Green Day and Blink-182 bracelets like he was trying to hide something from everyone. He had a curvy waist with thick thighs, not that I minded. I wanted him to be mine, but I couldn't really do that.

Then comes my friends. They all bring em along to clubs to check girls since they think I'm straight. They always are smoking and force me to join along. They think I'm some kind of leader to them, in reality I'm not.

Whenever and gay kid passes by me in the halls they avoid me, walk the other way or keep their head down. I don't really hate gay people, it just slipped out when I was heavily drunk on vodka. The truth is, I'm bisexual. I've never told anyone, because then I would sound like a hypocrite.

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Luke always looks cute when he's alone. Usually he'll be drawing or doodling, and he does this thing were he bites his lip and has his head rested on the sketchbook, looking down at whatever he's drawing, and just sits there. Alone.

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Luke's POV

By the time school was over, I already wanted to go home and cry in my room. I wished I had my mom to talk to, just to sit there and talk about stuff, but all of that's changed now. She's never home to do anything, and I haven't seen her for two days. I'm sure she's fine, but I hate being alone. I've gotten used to it. My room is pretty big, with posters to cover up the thing I wrote on the walls of the house we bought. I've never let anyone see them, though I never have anyone over.

I wish I had the courage to talk to Calum, but he's always around his friends all the time. Calum and them have a lot of tattoos and a few piercing on their lips. They don't look forgiving either. He plans to talk to him tomorrow.

I spent the rest of the afternoon doing his homework, thinking, and after a while I started to cry.

"I'm not enough," I thought. "Calum will never like me," tears ran out of my blue eyes, rolling down my cheeks onto my neck. "I fucked up this family. I'm the reason, dad left and Jack died. My mom became an alcoholic because of my ugly body and face..." I kept crying for hours and thinking these things.

I had to do it. I couldn't help it. I promised to not do it again, but I had to.

I walked to the bathroom and took my bracelets off, revealing my previous scars from self harming. I took out my razor that I had even though I had no facial hair.

As I slip the razor across my delicate skin, droplets of blood slowly appeared across it. My tears started to form again, that pain hurt a lot, and I knew I shouldn't be doing this.

I hurt me to think about the last 4 years; about how my dad left, how my brother died, how my mom became an alcoholic, and how I fucked everything up.

I put a few more cuts on my right wrist before realizing I needed another bracelet. Luckily, I already had one. I returned to my room and put on my pajamas, looking in the mirror and seeing my scars. "I'll never be okay," I told myself before putting my shirt on and falling asleep.

"At least in the future I'll be free."