Death & Magic (The Barefoot Healer, volume I)

Death & Magic chapter 41

Chapter 41

Perinar stood outside the gatehouse, pacing up and down. He rushed to embrace her, knocking the breath out of her. “You’re safe,” he whispered.

“Why wouldn’t I be?” she said, patting his back. She eased out of his arms and led him towards the south side of the middle ward, to make the most of the remaining daylight.

“That Watchman wouldn’t say what he wanted with you,” said Perinar, “and all sorts of horrible possibilities went through my mind.”

She sighed. “It was horrible. The officer wanted me to examine the body.” She tried to look as though she’d never done this before, and forced a shudder.

“So... what did you discover?” He looked into her eyes, seeming to dare her to lie.

“I... I...” A lump formed in her throat. She couldn’t hold his gaze. “He ordered me not to say anything about it.”

Perinar looked down. “I just can’t believe he’s gone.”

“Neither can I.” Liar.

Hand in hand, they walked to the door of the senior apprentices’ building. “Good night, then,” she said, as they embraced on the threshold.

He stepped back, keeping hold of her hands. He seemed anxious, and she wished she could see his face properly.

“Adramal,” he said, and then hesitated.

“Yes?” Her stomach clenched.

He gripped her hands tighter. “There’s something I’ve been meaning to tell you for the last couple of days. I guess now isn’t the best time for it, but I... I’d gathered my courage to do it today, and I think if I don’t do it now then maybe I never will.”

“Then tell me.”

He threw his arms around her and pulled her close. She breathed in, the scent of him filling her head. She wanted to take him back to her room, rules be damned.

“Adramal, I love you.”

Tears prickled in her eyes. She’d wanted him to say that, but hadn’t dared to hope he would. He let go of her and stood back, head bowed.

“Sorry,” he mumbled. “I’ve made such a fool of myself.”

“No.” She reached out to him and touched his hand. “It’s... it’s a bit unexpected, that’s all. But... whenever I’m with you, I feel there’s nothing to worry about. Everything’s going to be all right.”

“Even now?” He didn’t sound convinced.

“Even now.” She embraced him and took a deep breath. “I love you, Perinar.”

“I’m so glad to hear you say that,” he whispered.

She eased out of his arms and walked backwards down the corridor, smiling and waving at him. In her room, she sat on her bed and hugged her pillow. Maybe — just maybe — her spying mission was over now, and she could start a new life with Perinar.

Adramal went through most of the next day in a daze, seeing and hearing without understanding. She was aware of Perinar’s love for her, and hers for him, but in an abstract way, as though she’d heard two other people say “I love you” yesterday evening. They sat or walked, saying nothing to each other.

Word had got around that she’d examined Degoran’s body. Several apprentices wanted to know what she’d discovered, but she brushed them off with Captain Tagahra’s orders for secrecy.

The entire school attended Degoran’s funeral, held on the broad grassy area at the western side of the outer ward. The apprentices were split into junior and senior, with the servants between them. Adramal wished she could be with Perinar, to comfort him. She’d always hated funerals — they made her feel helpless.