The One I Love

My Love

This really isn't a memory, but its something I have to get off my chest. I recently went to go see my sister Marcy, she has cancer and isn't doing well. She had asked if I would go see her, I didn't want to go. the last time I saw her, we didn't leave on good terms, but Jakob made me see that it was something I had to do. He didn't want me to later regret it when she was gone, well a lot of y'all told me I should go see her.

so I went and Jakob came with me, for the first time ever I was leaning on him for support. It was his turn to help me through a difficult time. Its not an easy thing for me to accept but it was something I needed because I couldn't do it alone. I am glad I did go because it was one of the things that really bother me and it felt nice that at least one of my sisters could ask for my forgiveness and I was happy to give it to her.

Now my life hasn't always been the best, I grew up with a mother that really didn't love me. My father worked to support us and I didn't see much of him, but the time I did get with him, it was the only time I was happy. Growing up with my mother and sisters wasn't the greatest, it was one of the reasons I was ever rarely home unless my dad was there.

My sisters, Ally and Marcy always did what my mother wanted. They were never very kind to me and I tried to never let it bother me. I had the love of my father and that was enough for me. Until my parent's got a divorce did I see that love wasn't something I was meant to have, it was something I was going to have to work for because it wasn't going to come easy to me.

My parents divorce got so bad, I was basically being held for ransom by my mother, she wanted all these thing and she knew that if she pretend that she wanted me. She could make my father cave in and give her everything she wanted. Since I wasn't the age to allow me to pick who I wanted to live with, I was going to be stuck with her.

However  was lucky that I didn't get stuck with her. It wasn't easy living with my father, he was always working and most of the time I was left alone with a babysitter or later on with my stepmother. At times I would feel lonely and could really use a friend, but being the new kid it made it hard to make friends.

When my parents divorced, I left behind three of my closest friends. Really they were like family to me and it was hard to leave them. So now I had to make new ones and I did, his name was Luis Howard.  He quickly became the best friend I need and I wished that I could have been the friend he need.

Just in the few months of being his friend, I noticed that he was being abused at home. When I had asked him about it, he gave me the lame excuses of just being clumsy. He even told me not to say anything, that right there should have made me tell someone but I didn't. Since I didn't want to ruin our friendship, I said and did nothing.

About a few weeks later he didn't come to school, I went to his house only to see cops and his mom outside crying. I knew my worse fear had come true, and I could have stopped this. all I had to do was tell someone and they would have put a stop to it, but I didn't.

everyday I regretted it, because I had just lost my best friend. After that I just didn't want to make friends, I just didn't want to get closer to anyone anymore. I was truly thinking that I wasn't supposed to have a happy life, a life without love or having the chance to love.

everyday after that day, I was slowly closing myself off of everyone. Why even bother when nothing good ever came from getting close to someone. I stayed this way until we moved again. My dad thought it was best if we moved, so once again I was the new kid.

when I started at my new school, I wasn't planning on making a new best friend, I didn't want to get close to anyone again. but it didn't work that way, no instead I met Jakob and at that moment my life changed.

When I met him, I liked him right away. In many ways he had reminded me of Luis, even down to him being picked on. Once I saw that, I wasn't going to let them get away with it. I had done nothing for Luis and I lost him, I wasn't about to let that happen to Jakob.

When Jakob told me he was gay, it only made me want to protect him even more. Luis was also gay and that was the reason he was getting abused at home by his dad. He dad thought he could beat the gay out of him, but he didn't instead he killed an innocent and sweet boy.

That was what I love about Jakob the most, he is sweet and he doesn't deserve the hate and abuse he was getting. nobody does, especially for their sexuality, that is just the most dumbest thing to hate someone for. How can you hate someone for something they can't help, you can't and that just makes you look like an asshole.

Everyday since I met Jakob, I did whatever I could do to protect him. there were times I felt like I failed and I could have prevented the bad things happening to him. When in reality I have helped a lot and he tells me every day just how lucky he is to have me in his life.

The truth is, I'm lucky to have him in my life. I am not an easy person to get along with, I have a bad temper and its not an easy thing to deal with, but Jakob puts up with it and I'm grateful for that. That really lets me know that he loves me, for me.

You there are days I just look at Jakob and ask myself how I got so lucky to find him? The only explanation I can come up with is we were meant to meet that day and we were meant to fall in love. Everyday I am grateful for that day and for how my life turned out. If none of that happened to me, I probably would have never met Jakob and right now I wouldn't be this happy. So when you think your life sucks, just remember things happen for a reason and as long as you don't give up things will work out for you.