Falling Too (Joshler)

16

Tyler didn't really remember the ride home. He remembered the sad look on Mrs. Dun's face when she saw his tear stained cheeks and puffy red eyes. He remembered assuring her that he'd be okay before getting in the car. But after that it all seemed like a blur. He didn't talk to his family when he got home.

He locked himself in his room to be alone with the thoughts that had been clawing away at his skull since he found out. "It's your fault", "he hates you", "you were stupid to ever love him", the thoughts rang through his head on repeat. Tyler wanted to scream. He believed every poisonous thought, from the ones that called him horrible things to the ones that told him he should have tried to kill him self instead of Josh, he believed those the most.

He so desperately wanted to get away from it all. He tried sleeping but the venomous thoughts seeped into his dreams, making him wake up in tears.

He couldn't stand being alone with these thoughts and feelings anymore. He pulled out his phone, scrolling through his contacts before deciding who to talk to. "Hey, can you come over right now? I know it's late and everything but I just need to talk to someone." He sent the text quickly and waited for a response that was almost immediate.

"Yeah of course. I'll be over in five minutes." He smiled at the text. It was good to know that he had someone to talk to. After a few minutes his phone vibrated again. "I'm here."

Tyler opened his door to be met with the quiet darkness of the rest of his house. He was quiet as he made his way to the front door, opening it to be greeted by Brendon. He quickly stepped aside to let him in. "Did you walk here? It's the middle of January." Tyler asked as they walked up the stairs to his room.

"Yeah, its fine. It's not like it's a long walk." Brendon said, closing the door behind them. Tyler sat on the edge of his bed, Brendon opting for the desk chair. "So, uh, are you okay man?"

Tyler thought for a moment, was he? "Honestly? No. I just feel so confused and sad but mad at the same time. I don't know what's wrong with me." He said in a desperate tone.

"There's nothing wrong with you Ty." Brendon said in a serious tone. "You have the right to feel all of this, your feelings are always valid. You don't know what you should feel and that's okay. I'm sorry I didn't tell you about all of this when I found out. I didn't think I was the right person to tell you and I didn't know if you were ready."

Tyler shook his head. "No, I understand. I think you did the right thing. You didn't deserve for me to yell at you, I'm sorry." He looked to Brendon with an apologetic smile which he returned. "But, uh, can I ask you something?" Brendon nodded, the serious look creeping back to his features. "Do you know why? Did he ever talk about doing something like this before?" Tyler asked, anxiety laced in his tone.

Brendon sighed before answering. "He's been through some stuff Ty, he's not as fine as he seems. He never talked about doing something like this but I know his brain's been in some dark places. I think that's something he should talk to you about though. It's not really my story to tell."

Tyler slowly nodded as he mulled over the information. "Okay, thank you."

"Of course. Any time you need to talk or anything I'm here, we're all here. We miss you, you know that right? We care about you too." Brendon said, his serious tone and expression softening up.

Tyler smiled. "I do, and really, thank you. I don't know what I'd do without you guys."

"What about that Dallon guy? You guys seem like good friends." He asked with almost too much curiosity. Tyler liked that he could turn their serious conversation into something so casual and simple without any awkwardness.

"Yeah Dallon's great. I think you guys should hang out with him more, I'm sure you would really like him." Tyler said, now smiling.

"Yeah, maybe bring him to lunch when you come back?" Brendon asked, mirroring Tyler's smile. Tyler nodded, glad Brendon didn't ask when he'd be back. He knew Tyler needed some time, Tyler really was lucky to have them as friends. "Do you need anything else? If my parents find out I'm not home they'll probably kill me."

Tyler laughed. "No, I'm good. Thank you, really."

~~~~~~~~~~

Woah guys, I just got excited about this story hitting 400 the other day and now it's at 500??  I really think a lot of the earlier chapters suck and I want to go back and edit them when I finish the story.

Thanks for reading! Comment, vote and all that jazz if you liked it.