Dear Diary: My Delinquent

Dear Diary: My Delinquent... Chap 13

I feel like puking. Over and over again. How could I be such a cold, heartless bitch to Colton? I knew he has gone through so much. More then I have. Sure, Luke did what he did to me but Colton has gone through worse.

~Tessa

******+*****+*****+******+****+****+****+

I kicked the pebbles in front of me. I was imagining them as if they were myself. In was in the park by my house. I was ready to run into the middle of the road and get run over. Actually that's not bad of an idea.

I changed my course and headed over to the road. A black car was turning at the inter section. The driver wouldn't see me in time. I was at the edge of the sidewalk. Ready to make the leap onto the road and jump in front of the car. Nobody would miss me. Right?

Maybe Jake and Mel would. Possibly my parents? I don't know. I never do anymore.

One more step.

The voice in my head kept saying.

Nobody would miss you.

I actually started planning my funeral. I would have to have Down With Webster there and Black Veil Brides and Sleeping with Sirens there too. I didn't even deserve that.

He doesn't really love you.

A tear slid down my cheek.

He probably never did.

Then more silent tears ran down.

You hurt him. He would never want you again.

Did he really love me? I hurt him. He would want me anymore. Or ever.

I was now on the road right beside the sidewalk. One more step and I was road kill. Another car slid by. It was now or never.

I was like a deer running across the road. Except deer's usually make it across.

I didn't.

~*~Colton POv~*~

I was too pissed to think. Too pissed to do anything. I knew for a fact that when I was pissed off I was never in a right state of mind. I did things and then regretted them after.

Tessa is a bitch. I don't need her. Ever. I was fine without her before. I can do it again.

Something didn't feel right though.

Something didn't sit well with me.

Something was defiantly wrong. But what?

Tessa? Nope she hurt me on purpose. She was perfectly fine as always.

My phone in my back pocket started to ring.

"Hello?"

The annoying voice of Tessa's friend Melissa said, "Colton, if I were you I would get your ass to the damn hospital right now."

"Why?" I snarled through the phone.

She seemed very upset when she told me heart breaking news. "I-its T-Tessa."

Yeah, I was really mad at her. But I loved her so much it was stupid. Why was she hurt? What happened.

"What the fuck happened!?" I yelled into the phone.

"She tried committing suicide."

I had tears well up in the corner of my eyes. "I'll be t-there." I hung up and threw the phone on the ground and it smashed to pieces. Making an earsplitting scream when it hit the ground.

***

My leg was bouncing up and down in the waiting room. My head was in my hands. I was really tempted to pull my hair out. Melissa and Jake were also in the waiting room too. They kept giving me curious glances.

"Any family of Tessa Winters?" My head snapped up to the nurse standing there impatiently.

I stood up right away. "Me." Jake and Melissa also did too. "Us too."

"Are you guys family of Tessa Winters?" She asked in a snotty tone as she chomped on her gum making her look like a cow.

"Well n-" Melissa started but I cut her off.

"I'm her brother." I just really needed to see her. I went with the nurse whilst Melissa and Jake shit daggers at me.

The nurse nodded and led me to the room that Tessa was in. "She's in there. I sent her parents down to the cafeteria for a few." She told me.

My hand reached for the door. I didn't even bother to say thanks to the nurse and bursted into the room.

I gasped at what I saw. Was this because of me? I had a lot of guilt on my shoulders now.

Tessa's brown hair was whizzed everywhere. I large scrape ran down her left arm but it wasn't deep enough to be bandaged. Her right leg was broken so it was in a cast. Two fingers on her right arm were broken Her left shoulder was dislocated. She had three stitched on the one side if her forehead and four stitches down the left side of her cheek. A very noticeable bruise stuck out. It was all over her left leg.

I winced at the breathing tube going in her nostrils. A doctor came rushing in. He swept right past me. His name tag read 'Dr. Brown'. I don't think he has noticed me.

"And you are?" Never mind.

I coughed quietly before speaking, "I am her adoptive brother."

He nodded and stuck an I.V. in her hand. "Do you have any idea why she would attempt to commit suicide?"

He finally looked over at me waiting for my answer. But all I did was ignore his questioning eyes. I was ashamed to admit that I may have caused her to walk onto the road in purpose.

"Ugh um a few hours ago we were fighting." He nodded, encouraging me to go on. "and ugh she said something that she really regretted." I am so much of a baby that my voice cracked. "and I took off and I l-left her." I finally looked up at him. He gave me a silent sympathy.

He wrote it down in his clipboard. "Thank you...?"

"Colton." I filled in the space. "Colton Winters." It was the first time I ever used Winters as my last name.

"Thank you Colton. I'll explain now why she is sleeping?" I nodded eagerly. "Shes on tons of morphine so she can't feel anything and other medications. She isn't in a coma. She's very lucky for that. As you can see she has multiple broken bones, a concussion, stitches and bruises."

I nodded. "When do you think she'll wake up?" I questioned.

"I hope 24 hours at least but if she doesnt wake up then I assume she is in a reduced coma." He told me. I nodded excepting the answer.

"Thanks doc."

"Of course." And then he fled the room leaving Tessa and I alone. I sat on the chair right next to her bed. I held the hand that wasn't damaged that much very lightly. I had my face in the bed. And then I cried. For a long time.

I cried because I blamed myself for this.

I cried because it should be me hurt and not her.

I cried for the love of my life.

----+-+---+--+-+-+--+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-++++-----+--

Awwww so sad :'(

But longer.. right?