In contrast to last night's boisterous meal, dinner seemed solemn and full of drawn out silences. With the departure of Abraham's group and absence of Daryl and Carol, only Rick, Carl, Michonne, Tyreese, Sasha, Gabriel, Grace and I were left in the church.
Michonne was the first to leave the meal, going outside to keep watch. One by one, people split off, finishing their dinner. After I was done, I went back the pew I had been sleeping near and picked up the Bible.
Before the apocalypse, I was an avid reader. These days, it's hard to get hands on a book, so I made do with the material I had. Grace was so young when it all happened, so she didn't have time to learn how to read. I tried to help teach her as we survived, picking up anything with words to read to her.
Just as I was opening the book to read to Grace, a commotion could be heard outside the church. I turned my head, vision blocked by the front doors.
"Stay here." I dropped the Bible into Grace's lap and stood up, hand on my gun. Already, the rest were moving to the front, spilling outside. I had to squeeze past Tyreese and Sasha to see what was happening.
Daryl stood in the lawn, an unknown guy next to him. I scanned the area for Carol, who was supposed to be with Daryl. She wasn't there, no matter how hard I looked.
"This is Noah." Daryl introduced the boy simply. I wanted to shout at him, ask where Carol was, but I let Rick come forward and speak.
"Nice to meet you, Noah. Daryl, where's Carol?" Rick asked the question we were all thinking, the metaphorical elephant in the room.
"We tracked down the people who took Beth to Atlanta. They've got Carol now too." Daryl explained, his eyes shifting downwards. I gripped the stair's handrail at the mention of Beth, and Carol being captured.
"We'll go in, get 'em, get out." Rick was already forming a plan. People began volunteering, a group forming almost instantly.
"I want to go." I faced Rick, hands on my hips.
"You have to stay with your sister." He shut me down, turning back to Daryl. I rolled my eyes, seeing the truth in his statement. Grace was my number one priority, I shouldn't compromise that for Carol.
I hung back as they started organizing, slightly sulking at my exclusion. After having to stifle a yawn, I moved back inside, joining Grace on the pew. She was looking through the Bible, big eyes drifting over the pages.
"I think it's time for bed." I said, noticing her glazed eyes. She nodded slowly, giving me the book. I put it under the pew, then tucked her in. Brushing back the hair from her forehead, I wished her goodnight and laid down in my makeshift bed on the floor.
Preparation for the rescue began early that morning. In order to make the church safer for the remaining members of the group, pews were being split for wood and even organ pipes were being used to fortify. As they worked, I watched Grace draw in the small room.
On the floor, I set up Judith's cups and played with her for a while, just like we did when it was just us on the road. The sounds of hammering and sawing from outside seemed to fade away as I listened to Judith laugh. The cup stack kept falling and she kept giggling, creating a rare happy moment.
That was, until Carl walked in and ruined it. He always seemed to kill my mood, his sour demeanor putting me off immediately.
"My dad wants her." He said shortly, reaching down to pick Judith up. Quickly, I cleaned up the cups and pushed myself off the ground.
"He wants to say goodbye to her. They're leaving." Carl elaborated, hoisting Judith onto his hip.
"Alright. I'll be out in a second." I nodded, watching him leave with Judith. I placed the cups back on the dresser and turned to Grace, who was putting her markers away.
We joined the group outside as they were preparing to leave. Only Michonne, Carl, Gabriel, Judith, Grace and I were staying, dividing the group even further.
"Good luck." I put my hand out for a handshake when I got to Rick, feeling it was the appropriate goodbye.
"Stay safe, alright?" He grasped my hand, shaking it. We made firm eye contact for a second, then broke it apart to say goodbye to others. Grace gave him a big hug, showing her affection in one of the only ways she knew how.
With a few departing words, they got into the car they packed, finally driving off. It seemed like watching people leave was all I did these days.
If I thought it was quiet after Abraham's group left, it was dead-silent after the rescue mission left. We just got back to work with boarding up the windows. I was still recovering from my gunshot wound, so I was put on babysitting duty.
While Michonne and Carl worked at covering the windows, Judith and Grace played inside the big room, with me supervising. Gabriel was busy scrubbing the blood stains out of the floor. He was working furiously at it, and was beginning to worry me. After the slaughter, he was always staring at the remnants, a haunted look in his eyes.
After a while, Carl came in, a small arsenal of weapons in his hands. Abruptly, he laid them out in front of Gabriel and stood there expectantly. Michonne sat in a pew, peering over at the scene curiously.
"Pick one." Carl said flatly, staring Gabriel down. Gabriel pretended not to notice, still scraping at the floor vigorously.
"You need to learn how to defend yourself. We can teach you." Carl added, trying to get his attention.
"Defend myself? They said they'd go." Gabriel spoke up, referencing the cannibals.
"They were liars and murderers." Carl crossed his arms.
"Just like us." Gabriel retorted, looking up at Carl. I exchanged a look with Michonne, clearly sensing the tone of the conversation.
"They wanted us dead," Carl glared at Gabriel and then continued, "You're lucky your church has lasted this long."
"If he doesn't want a weapon, don't force one on him." I interrupted, sensing Gabriel's discomfort.
"He needs to know how to survive." Carl shot a look at me, challenging me. I was about to speak up again when Gabriel made eye contact with me, giving a slight shake of his head.
"It's okay." Gabriel reached for a machete, grasping the cold weapon in his hands. Carl told him he was holding it wrong, and continued to explain how he should hold it in order to pierce the skull. Gabriel looked sick, staring at the knife.
"I'm sorry. I need to lie down." Gabriel stood abruptly, making a beeline for the sofa in the small room. He closed the door behind him, creating a silence in the big room.
"I told you. You shouldn't force it on him." I couldn't resist the i-told-you-so.
"He'll die out there if he can't fight." Carl retorted, turning his full attention on me.
"He has people to protect him." I returned his icy glare.
"Why would we protect him if he wouldn't do the same for us?" He crossed his arms.
"How do you know that? Maybe he would." I narrowed my eyes, mirroring his stance. Before he could reply, Michonne stood up from where she sat in the pew.
"Carl, I need your help outside." She diffused the tension with that sentence, leaving the room. After a hesitant moment, Carl followed her, brushing past me. I glared as he passed, standing my ground.
YOU ARE READING
the weight of living; c.g.
Fanfiction"do you like the person you've become?" carl x oc//season 4-?
