the weight of living; c.g.

[0.3]: a new day

For one of the first times since the world ended, I had time to relax. The past two years had been constant worry for Grace and I's safety, so to not worry was unnatural. Of course, I was still watchful, listening to every noise outside the cell, but so far, it was only laughter and talking. Sometimes I could hear conversations from others, and they sounded so normal. Someone was asking if more help was needed with cooking dinner, people teasing one another, it was all so normal and so weird at the same time. I didn't know if I could be like that again.

The monotony of staring at the ground got to me eventually, leading me to lay down on the mattress and close my eyes. I knew I wouldn't sleep, but I could at least pretend like I was.

My calm moment was shattered as the sheet moved to the side and a head peeked in. I was up in a second, knife out, instincts kicking in. But it was only Carol, not a biter. She didn't seem surprised at my movement, waiting for me to put my knife away.

"I know it's only been a few hours, but dinner is ready and I figured you two would be hungry." She said after I slid my knife back into it's sheath. At the mention of dinner, my stomach was reminded of how empty it was, growling right on cue.

"Thank you for getting us. I'll wake Grace up and we'll be there soon." I tried to smile graciously, and she returned the favor. Something about her was comforting, like a mother or an aunt. That's probably one of the reasons I felt so calm here. Most of the groups Grace and I has been in had involved mostly men, or women who didn't care for us. It was a welcome change.

"Grace, it's dinnertime." I climbed halfway up her ladder, shaking her shoulder slightly. She woke up immediately, probably still in the fight or flight mode we had been in before. One look at our surroundings seemed to remind her of the situation and she relaxed. I got off the ladder to let her down, and together we walked out of the cell.

I didn't exact know where dinner was being held, due to my only experience with this place being the walk to our cell, but the sounds of conversation led us there. Everyone sat around small campfires in the asphalt yard near the makeshift kitchen. People were helping hand out food near the kitchen, so I led Grace there. It felt weird, like we were intruding on their family picnic or something.

Thankfully, Carol was one of the people giving out food, so we knew someone there. She smiled as we approached, making me smile back involuntarily. I grabbed a plate for Grace and I, allowing Carol to put some food on it for us.

As I held the plate in my hands and turned around, I realized that there was no one to sit with. Everyone seemed to have their little groups, sitting around the fire and laughing. Grace looked up at me, feeling the same thing. We didn't belong here, with all these people, at least not right now.

Somehow, we managed to get back to our cell without anyone noticing. We could just stick to ourselves for a while. I preferred it that way anyway, we barely knew these people.

"What are we going to do tomorrow?" Grace asked suddenly, as we sat on the floor of our cell eating. I put down my piece of meat to think about it. What did people do when they weren't running for their lives?

"We can explore. Would you like that?" I grinned, earning a similar smile from Grace. There was so much we needed to find out about this place and exploring seemed to be the explanation. But first, we needed to sleep.

As Grace got into bed, I gathered the plate and our utensils. I didn't want to leave her by herself, but I needed to return the plate to the kitchen. After making her promise to stay put and keep her knife close, I left the cell with the plate in hand.

People seemed to be cleaning up dinner when I returned to the area, many already heading back to their cells. I saw Carol's short gray hair in the kitchen, stacking the plates, so I walked over.

"Thank you for dinner. It was really good." I thanked her as I put the plate on the counter.

"Where were you and your sister? I didn't see you two eating out here." Carol looked concerned.

"We ate back at our cell. We didn't want to interrupt out here." I tried to look somewhere other than her. Her expression softened, probably pitying us.

"You're part of the group now. Next meal, you can come sit with me." She looked so genuine, I had the sudden urge to hug her, but I stayed where I was. She seemed trustworthy enough, probably one of the kindest people I've met since this all happened.

"We'll try. Thank you again." I tried to cut the conversation short before I said anything I would regret. As I walked away, I felt tears of happiness welling at the thought of having someone who cared enough about us to include in her group.

Everybody seemed to be in their cells, or visiting others in their cells. I successfully got past everyone, slipping into Grace and I's cell. I felt like everyone was watching me when I was out there, like they were all whispering about us. I tried to ignore it as I laid down on my mattress.

Tomorrow was a new day. Grace would make friends here, there seemed to be plenty of kids around. I could ask Carol what I could do to help around the prison, trying to prove my worth here. Maybe I could make friends too.