ROAD TO SERENITY | stydia [✔️]

epilogue

[NOTE: press play on the video above before reading this.]

Dear Lydia,

Your birthday is tomorrow and I'm writing this already because it's my present for you. One of them, at least. By now, I hope you're flying somewhere high above the US or Canada and I hope you're having a wonderful time.

I don't know what I've said to you in the last two days, as they haven't happened at the time I'm writing this. Though, I know myself and I know I haven't said the things I wanted to and should've. This is why I'm writing them now.

You are amazing, Lydia. More than you know. Every moment I spent with you was a little bright star of my life and seeing you grow relaxed next to me was an experience I'm never let go of. You're beautiful and kind and unique and I want you to know that even though you are not perfect, it's perfect. You are clever and everything I thought you'd be, even more.

I am going to miss you, more than anyone. You've become a part of my life and I don't want to lose you. I think I haven't fucked up our friendship, but assuming I probably haven't kissed you yet, I want you to know that's what I wanted to do. I wanted to kiss you. I wanted to wake up next to you and tell you you're fucking beautiful. To kiss you and play with your hair and so many other things.

I'm not the one for saying goodbyes, or writing letters. I'm a songwriter, so I wrote you one. I've already recorded it and put it on your phone while you were sleeping, press play. It's not punk rock because I realized with you, I can never be punk rock. You make me soft.

Maybe, in some parallel universe, you didn't leave. In that universe, I can tell you I love you without having to do it by a million things except saying it. Without filming a music video with you, without writing a song for you, without laying on the bed next to you and wondering how the hell in the world did I manage to meet someone as beautiful, inside and out, as you.

But I do, Lydia. I do. So wherever you go, whatever you think of me, remember I love you.

Yours,
Stiles

P.S. We both know who is whose knight in shining armor. 

[if you pressed play, you are listening to 'forever and ever', a song stiles stilinski wrote for lydia martin. and if you read all of this, you have come to the end of lydia and stiles's story in this universe.]

NOTE FROM THE AUTHOR:

i would like to thank everyone who's come this far. i know many people say things like this, but i genuinely wouldn't have finished this story had it not been for you. in the past two years (it's taken me two years to finish this - that tells you everything!) i've hit more than one writer's block, often lasting months. i pushed myself to write this because people read it and you deserved to have an ending. 

the period of writing this book was all highs and lows from me. i've been through shit with this, but i ended it and it may be the biggest accomplishment of my writing era (ten years, guys - officially ten years). if you pay attention from the first real-life chapter to the last, you can see how my writing style changed and evolved. i reread it couple of weeks back and to tell you the truth, i couldn't see which chapters i struggled with for months, tugging at my hair and spilling coffee all over my desk. that's what makes me so proud. even with everything, i got through it and you can't really even see it.

so, this one is for you guys. just for you. i hope you enjoyed it more than i did writing it.

love,
jamie