I Don't Love You, I Hate You |BL|

23 ~ Leave the Past

Derek \Part I\

I slammed the book shut and flung it across the room. The book travelled across the room and hit one of the white washed walls with a loud thud. I could feel myself shake all over. My legs felt unsteady, my arms felt weak. I couldn't believe what was happening.

"Calm down Derek" she spoke calmly. I said nothing, my eyes stayed fixated on the yearbook that was laying on the floor.

Impossible.. it couldn't be Haden.

Moisture seeped into my eyes. god I'm such a fucking idiot!.

"Derek" Tanya whispered and wrapped an arm around my waist and pulled me into the sofa.

"I have to go" I muttered, knocking her hand away. I didn't want to listen to what she had to say, so I walked as fast as I could.

Tanya's voice call from behind me, but I didn't dare look. "Derek, stop!"

I had to get away.

Getting into the car, the engine roared to life. I sped through the streets without looking at the speed monitor. I drove, and drove, without stopping. Moisture mustered in my eyes and blurred my vision partially.

There was no reason to cry over this, but I did. No matter how hard I tried to stop I couldn't. Tears rolled down my cheeks. The warm sensation left a trail on my face. "Why?" I muttered to myself. "Why him..."

Of all the people in the world my life had to be entangled with his. I slammed on the breaks. I didn't care who was behind my car. The angry noise of the honks filled the hair as they drove around my car. I heard a few curse words and saw a few fingers, but I didn't care.

"Get out of the road you fucking moron!" yelled an old man with the window of his car down.

"Why don't you crash your car and DIE!" I yelled back at him angrily. The man frowned disapprovingly and drove off.

"What should I do?" I asked myself aloud. My voice shook.

Had Haden known who I was all this time? That thought made my chest feel tight. I rested my head on the steering wheel and let out a loud breath. What if he did know, what then?

I didn't want to go back to that house or see him. But I turned the car around I headed back towards Haden's house.

The light rain fell on the windshield, the taping noise it made was calming. Keeping my eyes fixated on the road I kept a strong grip on the wheel. When I arrived at his house I burst through the door, looking for him. I didn't want to see him. But I wanted him to explain himself, but now wasn't the time for it.

"Sir. Are you okay?" asked Renorld as he saw my dishevelled state.

"Y-yeah I'm okay... where's Haden" I commanded. As the cold breeze came through the front door and touched my damp clothes that stuck to my body I couldn't even feel the air on my skin. Staring down the butler I stood impatiently.

"He is at a meeting sir" he replied.

Meeting? Then I remembered what he had said before I left this morning. The way he acted when I mentioned the yearbook. He did know. He asked me to go with him because he didn't want me to see it? That was probably it.

Wait he asked me about the first time we met... was this why?

I felt like an idiot and I felt betrayed. It was as if he had dropped me from a 100 story building.

Everything made sense, now. All those things he said. They never made much sense back then but now it does.

"If it's urgent that you speak with him, I could contact him for you sir" He said.